Shamanism and Ayahuasca ceremony difficulties. Discussions with Arutam Ruymán in Geneva, Switzerland.

First Discussion    Question: I had a very powerful dream yesterday, with a lot of visions. The whole night. And I was very negative. I have the feeling that I was in a rollercoaster. I think that place was not bearable, or I couldn’t take it... so I felt I was dying. Once, twice, three times. A thousand times. I think there was nothing left of me. And at the same time I was in peace.  Ruymán: that’s okey.  Q: at the same time I felt that sense that it was absolutely necessary, and I was grateful that I went through it. That’s crazy.  Ruymán: It was totally necessary. It was your first vision, right?  Q: When you were chanting, playing this chant, I had a very close connection, I felt that a lot of negative bad stuff came out.  Ruymán: It’s what you’re trying, when I’m singing in that way. I’m somehow squeezing all your organs, all the knots in your self. And when I’m somehow twisting everything, the shadow drops out. And you can feel how the dark shade is coming out, and you’re releasing it. But it happens in the beginning, because it’s your first time, it’s pretty painful. In fact, you feel that somehow you’re being hurted. You’re like dying. And sometimes it’s a sort of agony. Many people confuses, especially if they’re not mature, they confuses this with a bad experience. But, you know, it’s not about experience. And one of the proofs, a practical proof is that today, in your next ceremony, will be different. And you will notice it. And you will sense perfectly all the cleaning that you worked on yesterday, you will feel more light. It will help you to go deeper, with less shade and less resistance, and you will perceive much more clearer. When I saw you in the very beginning, you were coming not only with resistance, of a whole life, feed it, nourished. You were coming with a certain caring on certain pain. Mixed with some sadness, at the same time. And these things are deep, these things are absolutely moving. And my ceremonies are, in this sense, too strong. They’re only for serious seekers. Otherwise no one would be ready to go on, to resist such a transformation. Because if you notice, as well as you’re describing, the transformation wasn’t only in the mind and the heart of it. It’s pretty difficult. It’s even in the nervous system, in the body. So I don’t stop. I don’t give you much time to breath. So really I congratulate you because somehow today you’re today sitting up here, talking. And somehow you had that yesterday a lot. And now you come and share it out with all of us.  Q: I was pretty devastated this morning, because of the painful experience that I’ve had in my life, but there were some positive things as well that I later realized today and I felt a tremendous amount of gratitude and goodness as well. Part of the journey.  Ruymán: one of the most difficult things of this truthfull paths, well taught and well transmitted, is that you have to taste –somehow- the darkness, and the shade that we’re carrying on in our whole life. And that’s a pure madness. You see your own madness. And so sometimes it looks so real. But you have the opportunity to confront it, to face it before you. Otherwise, in a normal life, that’s so heavenly and to deeply stored, that there’s no way to touch it. Believe me: this is your first day, this is your first time, doing one of the most truthfull practices, that I think nowadays you can find, so you’ve done well. So, cheer up! Today I’m gonna check you, personally, I’m gonna follow up.  ----Note---- Next ceremony day, Ruymán decided help him directly, he put a blessed enchantment on his Ayahuasca and later on blew him, he had the deepest and best experience of his spiritual life path. Specially due to his hard previous day work, where he released many dark tendencies.    Second discussion    Q. I think I came with a lot of expectations, and I had ideas of what should happen or what would happen through the night. And actually nothing happened really. I mean, nothing in a very practical or a very clear way. So I didn’t have any visons, I didn’t have any clear messages, i don't know, perhaps I didn’t drink enough.  Ruymán:Did you throw up?  Q. After the second time I was having a lot of movement, but I couldn’t throw up, I didn’t have any fluids, I guess. I was fighting, basically, but I couldn’t.  Ruymán. And what do you want to throw up.  Q. I think it’s my girl friend. She left me a while ago. I spoke and listened to her.  Ruymán: well, all the cases are different. So probably you didn’t have enogh energy to light up the visions. The Natem stayed more in this area, the roots of your being, trying to renovate your energy. So this is the reason why it wasn’t so strong. The medicine we took yesterday was full of the Yaji leafs. This is the visionary part of the mixture. You need a higher concentration in the vines, where is the anacond power that can arise. The anacond, create the vision, empowering your energy. I think today we’re going to try another. More rich in the vine. And I will drink it much time before, so I will know very well what you’re going to take. Anyway, don’t worry, because a lot of work has been done. You will begin from a new point, from a new spot.  Q. I noticed that during the night I came more and more into the body, became more relaxed and calm. But it was very subtle.  Ruymán. Yes. But a lot of work has been done and a lot of sacred touch has been restored. So, today you’re starting from a higher level, and it’s probable that if the medicine is more rich in the vine –probably yes- and caring your dosage personally, I think we will have success. But it’s important to improve your energy level, because otherwise…  Q. Shoul I increase the dosage?  Ruymán. You should increase the dosage, but I let you know. Don’t drink without me, okay? We’ll do it together. Also you're very affected by your ex girlfriend. And that is a problem as well. Probably your mind is pretty trapped in that cicle, and you’re depressed. Many things are working against you. But let’s see how it goes today.    Third discussion    Q. I always feel very weak with few wishes to start new things. This night I felt this very clear and today I'm pretty tired. During the night the effect was very light.  Ruymán. Yes, I can see clearly how the Arutam's caress is weak in you. I don’t have to see your pulse. I can see it in your attitude, in your way of speaking, in the colour of your skin. That’s a problem because you need life and energy to reach higer states of consciuness. How many spoons did you take? A lot I guess, a high amount of it. You took six spoons, right?  Q. Eight.  Ruymán. It’s madness. It could fetch down a horse (laughs). The Shamanism is working with the real Arutam’s caress. If we don’t have it, it doesn’t work. So easy. Because of this: we try to eat very well, very nutricious food, but very light, so we don’t waste energy. We take a lot of care regarding to sex, because, in men, ejaculation is the way to weaken the sacred touch and the roots of ourself. And we try to keep harmony, and the perfect balance, guiding our lives with Tobacco, and living in the proper place, in the proper peace, close to nature, and taking a lot of time to our self, to meditate and taking care of these depths, these reaches that we’re discovering in the ceremony. It is the way to keep the Arutam’s touch very intensely within you. If you take a couple of drops of Natem, that’s enough to light up all the energy that we have already kept, but if we don’t do this, and, you know, do the opposite, for example, if we take relaxing substances like farmaceutical drugs, or even natural drugs like opium or cannabis or this kind of things, we’re working weakening a lot the Sacred Touch. We have to recover ourselves a little bit more first by changing our life’s habits, and, of course, if is needed, by using the herbal medicine: roots, plants, leafs. That if you know very well how to make a diagnose on how to choose the herbs, it’s very possible to recover a lot in the sacred touch. Imagine: if we live our whole life rejecting on working on Arutam’s sacred touch, and then we drink Natem and all this is recovered and we enter in a sacred extasis with the Great Mystery, imagine: I would be very famous, and rich. That’s impossible. And few people want to really learn or practice Shamanism in the right way, because most of the people really don’t want to change in that weird state of pleasure, where they use to say. There’s people who have suffered enough in life, and really don’t have a chance. Many people. Much more than others. And for them, when they approach to Shamanism, they really want to change. They realy want to find a way to remember where they came from, where they are, and how to heal themselves. And it works if you have the will power, and you redirect yourself, focus, you can get whatever you want with Shamanism. In the tradition, Uwishin is the name of Shaman. The Uwishin is somehow providing the medicine, the Natem, to the students; also to help the people who are in a quest; more often to very ill people, to help in their healing, and the Shaman is increasing with them the presence of the Spirit very powerfully. And the people get in trance, and those who are in the quest, find the answers, find their paths, and have really deep and blessed insights. Those who need to be healed, feel how the energy is really increasing, and the body is starting to really remember how it should sense life like recently born. And the students are learning how the Shaman is doing this. So, in the tradition, in the house of the visions, we have all this things, all together. But nothing is possible if we don’t pay attention to the previous remarks. Everything is explained just by the sensation. And the wisest man is the one who has found the last -the clearest- union with his spirit, the last sensation, and is caring for it. This is the wisest man: the one who left behind the clouds of confusion of the extremes, of the rational mind memories, the self recognition, and can sing like the Tucan on a tree, or the acuatic Tiger in the river, the Anaconda soaked in the swamp. That’s why in our rituals we dedicate the whole night just only to adore Arutam, and go deeply in the crystal of existence, and cry singing his blessings, sparkling the light of deep visions.    Fourth discussion    Q. Might I ask you something? It’s my second time, and I still vomit too much, not being able to go deep enough within me.  Ruymán. I see that, during the ceremony, that you take the medicine and then you go inside your blanquets quickly, and you don’t want to know about anything. I think there’s a part of you that is somehow trying to come back to your same self constantly, isolating you from the world, and then closing yourself. When the process start going deeply, the cold arrives, the forgotten sacred touch caresses your heart depths,close to your conscious or present sensation, you reject it quickly. You throw it out. That’s my impression about you.  Q. Yes, I think something’s coming, but I stop it somehow.  Ruymán: so you want to change this?  Q. Yes, everything. Everything.  Ruymán. So I’ll help you to deal with this. So don’t drink without me. I will give you the Natem. I will make an enchantment for you. But, please: make the effort. Don’t throw up quickly. And this time try to be more with us, Ok? Look at me. Sometimes I will be laid down, and sometimes I will be sitting with all of you, crying the Arutam's joy. Sometimes I will be meditating. Try to be more active. Don’t enter in your little world and hide under the blankets.

First Discussion

Question: I had a very powerful dream yesterday, with a lot of visions. The whole night. And I was very negative. I have the feeling that I was in a rollercoaster. I think that place was not bearable, or I couldn’t take it... so I felt I was dying. Once, twice, three times. A thousand times. I think there was nothing left of me. And at the same time I was in peace.

Ruymán: that’s okey.

Q: at the same time I felt that sense that it was absolutely necessary, and I was grateful that I went through it. That’s crazy.

Ruymán: It was totally necessary. It was your first vision, right?

Q: When you were chanting, playing this chant, I had a very close connection, I felt that a lot of negative bad stuff came out.

Ruymán: It’s what you’re trying, when I’m singing in that way. I’m somehow squeezing all your organs, all the knots in your self. And when I’m somehow twisting everything, the shadow drops out. And you can feel how the dark shade is coming out, and you’re releasing it. But it happens in the beginning, because it’s your first time, it’s pretty painful. In fact, you feel that somehow you’re being hurted. You’re like dying. And sometimes it’s a sort of agony. Many people confuses, especially if they’re not mature, they confuses this with a bad experience. But, you know, it’s not about experience. And one of the proofs, a practical proof is that today, in your next ceremony, will be different. And you will notice it. And you will sense perfectly all the cleaning that you worked on yesterday, you will feel more light. It will help you to go deeper, with less shade and less resistance, and you will perceive much more clearer. When I saw you in the very beginning, you were coming not only with resistance, of a whole life, feed it, nourished. You were coming with a certain caring on certain pain. Mixed with some sadness, at the same time. And these things are deep, these things are absolutely moving. And my ceremonies are, in this sense, too strong. They’re only for serious seekers. Otherwise no one would be ready to go on, to resist such a transformation. Because if you notice, as well as you’re describing, the transformation wasn’t only in the mind and the heart of it. It’s pretty difficult. It’s even in the nervous system, in the body. So I don’t stop. I don’t give you much time to breath. So really I congratulate you because somehow today you’re today sitting up here, talking. And somehow you had that yesterday a lot. And now you come and share it out with all of us.

Q: I was pretty devastated this morning, because of the painful experience that I’ve had in my life, but there were some positive things as well that I later realized today and I felt a tremendous amount of gratitude and goodness as well. Part of the journey.

Ruymán: one of the most difficult things of this truthfull paths, well taught and well transmitted, is that you have to taste –somehow- the darkness, and the shade that we’re carrying on in our whole life. And that’s a pure madness. You see your own madness. And so sometimes it looks so real. But you have the opportunity to confront it, to face it before you. Otherwise, in a normal life, that’s so heavenly and to deeply stored, that there’s no way to touch it. Believe me: this is your first day, this is your first time, doing one of the most truthfull practices, that I think nowadays you can find, so you’ve done well. So, cheer up! Today I’m gonna check you, personally, I’m gonna follow up.

----Note---- Next ceremony day, Ruymán decided help him directly, he put a blessed enchantment on his Ayahuasca and later on blew him, he had the deepest and best experience of his spiritual life path. Specially due to his hard previous day work, where he released many dark tendencies.

Second discussion

Q. I think I came with a lot of expectations, and I had ideas of what should happen or what would happen through the night. And actually nothing happened really. I mean, nothing in a very practical or a very clear way. So I didn’t have any visons, I didn’t have any clear messages, i don't know, perhaps I didn’t drink enough.

Ruymán:Did you throw up?

Q. After the second time I was having a lot of movement, but I couldn’t throw up, I didn’t have any fluids, I guess. I was fighting, basically, but I couldn’t.

Ruymán. And what do you want to throw up.

Q. I think it’s my girl friend. She left me a while ago. I spoke and listened to her.

Ruymán: well, all the cases are different. So probably you didn’t have enogh energy to light up the visions. The Natem stayed more in this area, the roots of your being, trying to renovate your energy. So this is the reason why it wasn’t so strong. The medicine we took yesterday was full of the Yaji leafs. This is the visionary part of the mixture. You need a higher concentration in the vines, where is the anacond power that can arise. The anacond, create the vision, empowering your energy. I think today we’re going to try another. More rich in the vine. And I will drink it much time before, so I will know very well what you’re going to take. Anyway, don’t worry, because a lot of work has been done. You will begin from a new point, from a new spot.

Q. I noticed that during the night I came more and more into the body, became more relaxed and calm. But it was very subtle.

Ruymán. Yes. But a lot of work has been done and a lot of sacred touch has been restored. So, today you’re starting from a higher level, and it’s probable that if the medicine is more rich in the vine –probably yes- and caring your dosage personally, I think we will have success. But it’s important to improve your energy level, because otherwise…

Q. Shoul I increase the dosage?

Ruymán. You should increase the dosage, but I let you know. Don’t drink without me, okay? We’ll do it together. Also you're very affected by your ex girlfriend. And that is a problem as well. Probably your mind is pretty trapped in that cicle, and you’re depressed. Many things are working against you. But let’s see how it goes today.

Third discussion

Q. I always feel very weak with few wishes to start new things. This night I felt this very clear and today I'm pretty tired. During the night the effect was very light.

Ruymán. Yes, I can see clearly how the Arutam's caress is weak in you. I don’t have to see your pulse. I can see it in your attitude, in your way of speaking, in the colour of your skin. That’s a problem because you need life and energy to reach higer states of consciuness. How many spoons did you take? A lot I guess, a high amount of it. You took six spoons, right?

Q. Eight.

Ruymán. It’s madness. It could fetch down a horse (laughs). The Shamanism is working with the real Arutam’s caress. If we don’t have it, it doesn’t work. So easy. Because of this: we try to eat very well, very nutricious food, but very light, so we don’t waste energy. We take a lot of care regarding to sex, because, in men, ejaculation is the way to weaken the sacred touch and the roots of ourself. And we try to keep harmony, and the perfect balance, guiding our lives with Tobacco, and living in the proper place, in the proper peace, close to nature, and taking a lot of time to our self, to meditate and taking care of these depths, these reaches that we’re discovering in the ceremony. It is the way to keep the Arutam’s touch very intensely within you. If you take a couple of drops of Natem, that’s enough to light up all the energy that we have already kept, but if we don’t do this, and, you know, do the opposite, for example, if we take relaxing substances like farmaceutical drugs, or even natural drugs like opium or cannabis or this kind of things, we’re working weakening a lot the Sacred Touch. We have to recover ourselves a little bit more first by changing our life’s habits, and, of course, if is needed, by using the herbal medicine: roots, plants, leafs. That if you know very well how to make a diagnose on how to choose the herbs, it’s very possible to recover a lot in the sacred touch. Imagine: if we live our whole life rejecting on working on Arutam’s sacred touch, and then we drink Natem and all this is recovered and we enter in a sacred extasis with the Great Mystery, imagine: I would be very famous, and rich. That’s impossible. And few people want to really learn or practice Shamanism in the right way, because most of the people really don’t want to change in that weird state of pleasure, where they use to say. There’s people who have suffered enough in life, and really don’t have a chance. Many people. Much more than others. And for them, when they approach to Shamanism, they really want to change. They realy want to find a way to remember where they came from, where they are, and how to heal themselves. And it works if you have the will power, and you redirect yourself, focus, you can get whatever you want with Shamanism. In the tradition, Uwishin is the name of Shaman. The Uwishin is somehow providing the medicine, the Natem, to the students; also to help the people who are in a quest; more often to very ill people, to help in their healing, and the Shaman is increasing with them the presence of the Spirit very powerfully. And the people get in trance, and those who are in the quest, find the answers, find their paths, and have really deep and blessed insights. Those who need to be healed, feel how the energy is really increasing, and the body is starting to really remember how it should sense life like recently born. And the students are learning how the Shaman is doing this. So, in the tradition, in the house of the visions, we have all this things, all together. But nothing is possible if we don’t pay attention to the previous remarks. Everything is explained just by the sensation. And the wisest man is the one who has found the last -the clearest- union with his spirit, the last sensation, and is caring for it. This is the wisest man: the one who left behind the clouds of confusion of the extremes, of the rational mind memories, the self recognition, and can sing like the Tucan on a tree, or the acuatic Tiger in the river, the Anaconda soaked in the swamp. That’s why in our rituals we dedicate the whole night just only to adore Arutam, and go deeply in the crystal of existence, and cry singing his blessings, sparkling the light of deep visions.

Fourth discussion

Q. Might I ask you something? It’s my second time, and I still vomit too much, not being able to go deep enough within me.

Ruymán. I see that, during the ceremony, that you take the medicine and then you go inside your blanquets quickly, and you don’t want to know about anything. I think there’s a part of you that is somehow trying to come back to your same self constantly, isolating you from the world, and then closing yourself. When the process start going deeply, the cold arrives, the forgotten sacred touch caresses your heart depths,close to your conscious or present sensation, you reject it quickly. You throw it out. That’s my impression about you.

Q. Yes, I think something’s coming, but I stop it somehow.

Ruymán: so you want to change this?

Q. Yes, everything. Everything.

Ruymán. So I’ll help you to deal with this. So don’t drink without me. I will give you the Natem. I will make an enchantment for you. But, please: make the effort. Don’t throw up quickly. And this time try to be more with us, Ok? Look at me. Sometimes I will be laid down, and sometimes I will be sitting with all of you, crying the Arutam's joy. Sometimes I will be meditating. Try to be more active. Don’t enter in your little world and hide under the blankets.