Talk with Arutam Ruymán in El Tanque, Santa Cruz de Tenerife, June 30th, 2018

 A QUESTION ABOUT THE LESSONS LEARNED THROUGHOUT THE WAY: Does Natem take us into our darkness?  RUYMÁN: I wouldn’t say that Natem leads us into our darkness: I’d rather say that Natem immerses us into the Spirit’s depths, and as we reach the Spirit, we see those dark tendencies, the ones that we feed daily; we can feel their misery and their dark veil. We see them as they are, and how they grows within us. But if we didn’t do that, Natem's trance would be just the sheer radiance of the Spirit: pure light and beauty, just as Life itself.     QUESTION: Well, when Natem shows me those dark parts of myself, I start to feel nauseous. I feel like I need to flee from that darkness, I don’t want to go to that place.  RUYMÁN: H on the contrary: you have to look very curiously, with no fear. When the light comes on, when everything is clear and you can see all the misery that you feed regularly, all the misery that you let it grow inside yourself and let it rot, you really have to look at it with curiosity, and ask yourself: Let's see… What’s that? Why do I have that thing inside me? What part of my mind is so sick that it was able to feed that crap? So you start to investigate and understand, and of course you’ll feel nauseous. And what really happens is that you don’t want to see it. You don’t want that to be discovered. You don’t want it to be seen. The shadow that rots your flesh is so horrifying that you feel a total rejection for it. And many times that happens because you want to free yourself from it, but it can also happen just because you want to stop the intensity of that vision, so you don’t have to go deeper into that. But, nevertheless, you have to look! You have to look at that wision, and arrive to it, and try hard until you can really see it in front of you, and then find an explanation to it: "ah, that's why I do it ... this is what I do". And then you say to yourself: "God, why didn’t I notice it before?" And that's why so many people are afraid to look. Shamanism is not a pleasant way. It’s a true act of healing. It’s a true awakening of consciousness. When you turn on the light, in a room, you often say: "I'd better turn it off." You are before the truth: that’s why this is one of the most arduous jobs that a human being must face in his lifetime. You might get that awakening… or maybe not. Maybe you should assume that you're a coward and that you should run away.  When I was studying at the university, I knew that if I wrote down what was written in the books, I would probably pass the exam. If you study the book that’s been recommended by the teacher, you’ll read it completely and answer the test appropriately. You know that you’ll probably pass the examination. Even if many times you don’t even understand what you are reading. When I was young, as I was learning the path of shamanism, I asked myself: will I learn, one day, what my elders are teaching me? Will I reach that peace, that depth, that union with existence they have? Because I see it today and I’m not so sure about it. I want to achieve that knowledge, but I don’t know if I can! Anyway: I want to get it! But I can’t! Am I wasting my time? Will I die in the same state of mind they had? Fear, uncertainty and the question: what do I do? It’s the torture caused by the self. By encouraging myself to do it, and to look, I’ll probably feel nauseous: because I see those shadows, I see what I have inside me, I see those mistakes I’ve made. But I also feel the strength of wounded pride, and to be compelled to modify those mistakes makes me angry. Then I get defensive and react badly. It’s always the same vortex of self-destruction.  But do you know what? I’ve lived a normal life for many years. I've seen enough the way my elders, and the people around me, threw away their lives. I knew I didn’t want to end up like that. I knew that real happiness was not there. I also knew that if I closed my eyes, I couldn’t feel the peace that I saw in my teachers, because they were healthy and strong, and they knew what they taught. And they knew how to heal their disciples. And then I said to myself: I want this. So with a little bit of will, with a bit of faith - I don’t like that word very much, although sometimes it has a beautiful connotation -, I could see that everything that’d been transmitted from old to young, so many times, in Shuar Shamanism , was true. And that for some good reason this knowledge had survived hundreds or thousands of years. And I could check it personally. I could apply it to myself.     QUESTION ABOUT INTERPRETATION: There were clock hands in my visions, what meaning can that have? As I was navigating the cosmos, I saw a cosmic ship, a spaceship. I was approaching the entrance door of that ship, so I entered through the window –it was very clean-and there I started to see the clock hands, which looked large at first, and then they went smaller. They went from a greater to a lesser size.  RUYMÁN: Let's see. He was in the cosmos, with his solid identity, and he was entering a machine that was made to navigate the cosmos. Then he began to see the mechanics of that rigid machine. Through the crystal of Life he saw the clock that began to dissolve in smaller pieces, showing its mechanical nature, until he reached the engine, the very soul of that machine. As if he was going towards its essence. From something of a bit rigid start, from that ego that travels in a machine through the universe -without the total freedom of light, which shines with its brilliance towards the stars, among all that blackness of space that gives consciousness to the galaxies-, he began to dissolve that machine in its small parts. It was a decomposition process, typical of the Yaji leaves, within the strong intensity of the deep Natem. So, then it was a process of decomposition, until everything disappears, and you get to the parts of the machine.     A QUESTION ABOUT THE DEVELOPMENT OF VISIONS: I have attended several ceremonies, and I feel that in my first ceremony I started to see a story, and that story was developed, more and more in detail, in the subsequent ceremonies. For example, in the first ceremony there was a very beautiful puma. In later ceremonies I saw that puma again, with more and more detail. Is it a story which is evolving in parts?  RUYMÁN: no, no. The ceremony is a way to let go in an eternal marriage with Arutam. It's a way to stay melted with the whole existence, without making any effort, in the dark taste of enlightening enchantments of the Ayahuasca. It is a way of knowing when we are wrong in our lives, when we are hurting ourselves. Your mind is still mechanical, linear, ordinary. A mind that enslaves time in its resistance, to conceal, painfully, the reality of its eternity. Maybe you are understanding some things, little by little. Anyway, I see a positive evolution in you. And I think you're going to continue. Better and better all the time. You have to start to make an effort, to let go a little more, and forget about the references. Look from an identity, to find more spaces of ease and light in your life. I'm sure you're going to get it.     QUESTION: I have also had other experiences to which I have been completely delivered. What can that mean?  RUYMÁN: the time will come when experience is a total relationship with existence. As long as the ordinary mind is abandoned and you lose the desire - and the faith in that desire - to keep it alive. One also gets bored, and decides to stay in the light of Life, just to shine indefinitely, like animals in the jungle.     Well, let's rest for a little while. Let's check the tobacco leaves.        

A QUESTION ABOUT THE LESSONS LEARNED THROUGHOUT THE WAY: Does Natem take us into our darkness?

RUYMÁN: I wouldn’t say that Natem leads us into our darkness: I’d rather say that Natem immerses us into the Spirit’s depths, and as we reach the Spirit, we see those dark tendencies, the ones that we feed daily; we can feel their misery and their dark veil. We see them as they are, and how they grows within us. But if we didn’t do that, Natem's trance would be just the sheer radiance of the Spirit: pure light and beauty, just as Life itself.

 

QUESTION: Well, when Natem shows me those dark parts of myself, I start to feel nauseous. I feel like I need to flee from that darkness, I don’t want to go to that place.

RUYMÁN: H on the contrary: you have to look very curiously, with no fear. When the light comes on, when everything is clear and you can see all the misery that you feed regularly, all the misery that you let it grow inside yourself and let it rot, you really have to look at it with curiosity, and ask yourself: Let's see… What’s that? Why do I have that thing inside me? What part of my mind is so sick that it was able to feed that crap? So you start to investigate and understand, and of course you’ll feel nauseous. And what really happens is that you don’t want to see it. You don’t want that to be discovered. You don’t want it to be seen. The shadow that rots your flesh is so horrifying that you feel a total rejection for it. And many times that happens because you want to free yourself from it, but it can also happen just because you want to stop the intensity of that vision, so you don’t have to go deeper into that. But, nevertheless, you have to look! You have to look at that wision, and arrive to it, and try hard until you can really see it in front of you, and then find an explanation to it: "ah, that's why I do it ... this is what I do". And then you say to yourself: "God, why didn’t I notice it before?" And that's why so many people are afraid to look. Shamanism is not a pleasant way. It’s a true act of healing. It’s a true awakening of consciousness. When you turn on the light, in a room, you often say: "I'd better turn it off." You are before the truth: that’s why this is one of the most arduous jobs that a human being must face in his lifetime. You might get that awakening… or maybe not. Maybe you should assume that you're a coward and that you should run away.

When I was studying at the university, I knew that if I wrote down what was written in the books, I would probably pass the exam. If you study the book that’s been recommended by the teacher, you’ll read it completely and answer the test appropriately. You know that you’ll probably pass the examination. Even if many times you don’t even understand what you are reading. When I was young, as I was learning the path of shamanism, I asked myself: will I learn, one day, what my elders are teaching me? Will I reach that peace, that depth, that union with existence they have? Because I see it today and I’m not so sure about it. I want to achieve that knowledge, but I don’t know if I can! Anyway: I want to get it! But I can’t! Am I wasting my time? Will I die in the same state of mind they had? Fear, uncertainty and the question: what do I do? It’s the torture caused by the self. By encouraging myself to do it, and to look, I’ll probably feel nauseous: because I see those shadows, I see what I have inside me, I see those mistakes I’ve made. But I also feel the strength of wounded pride, and to be compelled to modify those mistakes makes me angry. Then I get defensive and react badly. It’s always the same vortex of self-destruction.

But do you know what? I’ve lived a normal life for many years. I've seen enough the way my elders, and the people around me, threw away their lives. I knew I didn’t want to end up like that. I knew that real happiness was not there. I also knew that if I closed my eyes, I couldn’t feel the peace that I saw in my teachers, because they were healthy and strong, and they knew what they taught. And they knew how to heal their disciples. And then I said to myself: I want this. So with a little bit of will, with a bit of faith - I don’t like that word very much, although sometimes it has a beautiful connotation -, I could see that everything that’d been transmitted from old to young, so many times, in Shuar Shamanism , was true. And that for some good reason this knowledge had survived hundreds or thousands of years. And I could check it personally. I could apply it to myself.

 

QUESTION ABOUT INTERPRETATION: There were clock hands in my visions, what meaning can that have? As I was navigating the cosmos, I saw a cosmic ship, a spaceship. I was approaching the entrance door of that ship, so I entered through the window –it was very clean-and there I started to see the clock hands, which looked large at first, and then they went smaller. They went from a greater to a lesser size.

RUYMÁN: Let's see. He was in the cosmos, with his solid identity, and he was entering a machine that was made to navigate the cosmos. Then he began to see the mechanics of that rigid machine. Through the crystal of Life he saw the clock that began to dissolve in smaller pieces, showing its mechanical nature, until he reached the engine, the very soul of that machine. As if he was going towards its essence. From something of a bit rigid start, from that ego that travels in a machine through the universe -without the total freedom of light, which shines with its brilliance towards the stars, among all that blackness of space that gives consciousness to the galaxies-, he began to dissolve that machine in its small parts. It was a decomposition process, typical of the Yaji leaves, within the strong intensity of the deep Natem. So, then it was a process of decomposition, until everything disappears, and you get to the parts of the machine.

 

A QUESTION ABOUT THE DEVELOPMENT OF VISIONS: I have attended several ceremonies, and I feel that in my first ceremony I started to see a story, and that story was developed, more and more in detail, in the subsequent ceremonies. For example, in the first ceremony there was a very beautiful puma. In later ceremonies I saw that puma again, with more and more detail. Is it a story which is evolving in parts?

RUYMÁN: no, no. The ceremony is a way to let go in an eternal marriage with Arutam. It's a way to stay melted with the whole existence, without making any effort, in the dark taste of enlightening enchantments of the Ayahuasca. It is a way of knowing when we are wrong in our lives, when we are hurting ourselves. Your mind is still mechanical, linear, ordinary. A mind that enslaves time in its resistance, to conceal, painfully, the reality of its eternity. Maybe you are understanding some things, little by little. Anyway, I see a positive evolution in you. And I think you're going to continue. Better and better all the time. You have to start to make an effort, to let go a little more, and forget about the references. Look from an identity, to find more spaces of ease and light in your life. I'm sure you're going to get it.

 

QUESTION: I have also had other experiences to which I have been completely delivered. What can that mean?

RUYMÁN: the time will come when experience is a total relationship with existence. As long as the ordinary mind is abandoned and you lose the desire - and the faith in that desire - to keep it alive. One also gets bored, and decides to stay in the light of Life, just to shine indefinitely, like animals in the jungle.

 

Well, let's rest for a little while. Let's check the tobacco leaves.        

My Grandparent's diet. A clarification statement.

 It’s very difficult to find fat and proteins of vegetable origin in the jungle. Everything is too wet in such a place. The terrain is often just water and almost no earth on top. These are the central ingredients for a diet designed to optimize high muscular performance for proper development and maintenance. In the jungle it’s absolutely necessary a perfect functioning of the physiological functions of any animal. We have to make sure we survive: build a house so we don’t get wet; have lots of dry firewood, hunt, fish and grow vegetables to feed the family; we must be strong and excellent to overcome any risk. We cannot lose our strength even for a moment, because we know that when death arrives, our fall will be both the first and the last.  My ancestors were partially nourished by what they cultivated: a variety of pumpkins, leaves of the forest, diverse roots, fruits they found, chontas, etc. They did not consume that much, because they were too abundant in carbohydrates: they only consumed the basics to have a good energy before the time for rest. Beyond this food function, no more importance or attention was given. The basis of their diet consisted of the fat and protein they could obtain only from fish (no seafood, slugs, octopus etc.) and birds: wild birds in general, which they hunted with blowgun; They also fed on turkey-like species and so on. Saturated fat kept them satisfied for a long time, protein nourished their muscles and built or repaired their tissues daily. Thus, they forged athletic bodies that were perfectly adapted to live under extremely harsh conditions.  For my part, I usually eat fresh fish, although I do not feed on birds. I have been sympathetic to veganism for a long time: it is a beautiful idea and very philosophical, but reality in the final sense of the individual, shows its failure. If we remove animal fat and protein from our diet, we will end up replacing it with manufactured foods and hydrates like crazy, that will not work for a person who needs to perform perfectly. "Normally" we find vegans that are weak, thin, consumed; or on the contrary, fat, flabby and with an unfortunate state of muscular toning. These men and women could not live in a natural environment that required the best of them to survive, so in that state they will remain in their cities, going from home to work and back. It is regrettable to witness, all across the world, how disastrous certain philosophical beliefs have been for lacking rigor in individual feeling. I really wrote this short Post because I want to be better every day and share what I have learned and personally verified, in the company of the people who follow me and who I love. I know that many will get upset, even the knives of their blind beliefs will want to make me bleed; think then how violent a vegan can be when he does not eat meat ...  My grandparents taught me that way and in that way Natem (Ayahuasca) was taken in peace.

It’s very difficult to find fat and proteins of vegetable origin in the jungle. Everything is too wet in such a place. The terrain is often just water and almost no earth on top. These are the central ingredients for a diet designed to optimize high muscular performance for proper development and maintenance. In the jungle it’s absolutely necessary a perfect functioning of the physiological functions of any animal. We have to make sure we survive: build a house so we don’t get wet; have lots of dry firewood, hunt, fish and grow vegetables to feed the family; we must be strong and excellent to overcome any risk. We cannot lose our strength even for a moment, because we know that when death arrives, our fall will be both the first and the last.

My ancestors were partially nourished by what they cultivated: a variety of pumpkins, leaves of the forest, diverse roots, fruits they found, chontas, etc. They did not consume that much, because they were too abundant in carbohydrates: they only consumed the basics to have a good energy before the time for rest. Beyond this food function, no more importance or attention was given. The basis of their diet consisted of the fat and protein they could obtain only from fish (no seafood, slugs, octopus etc.) and birds: wild birds in general, which they hunted with blowgun; They also fed on turkey-like species and so on. Saturated fat kept them satisfied for a long time, protein nourished their muscles and built or repaired their tissues daily. Thus, they forged athletic bodies that were perfectly adapted to live under extremely harsh conditions.

For my part, I usually eat fresh fish, although I do not feed on birds. I have been sympathetic to veganism for a long time: it is a beautiful idea and very philosophical, but reality in the final sense of the individual, shows its failure. If we remove animal fat and protein from our diet, we will end up replacing it with manufactured foods and hydrates like crazy, that will not work for a person who needs to perform perfectly. "Normally" we find vegans that are weak, thin, consumed; or on the contrary, fat, flabby and with an unfortunate state of muscular toning. These men and women could not live in a natural environment that required the best of them to survive, so in that state they will remain in their cities, going from home to work and back. It is regrettable to witness, all across the world, how disastrous certain philosophical beliefs have been for lacking rigor in individual feeling. I really wrote this short Post because I want to be better every day and share what I have learned and personally verified, in the company of the people who follow me and who I love. I know that many will get upset, even the knives of their blind beliefs will want to make me bleed; think then how violent a vegan can be when he does not eat meat ...

My grandparents taught me that way and in that way Natem (Ayahuasca) was taken in peace.

Arutam and the force

Arutam is a perfect crystal that sustains the entire existence in a single Great Feeling. It's the perfect intellect behind the world we see, that eternally imbibes from its own grace. It's harmony, which keeps that sacred perfection intact, making it both immortal and eternally venerable; just a pass of time that dignifies it, and uncovers new miracles inexhaustibly.

That sacred crystal is a temperate peace within the most calm and rich insipidness. Each craving ridicules itself before the Infinite Feeling, which contains all feeling in its most minute twilights and at its most splendid apogee, in the spark of an instant.

The man who gives himself, during that trance, will rest in plenitude. And in the natural intellect that has always been, he understands the past and abandons it in compassion, by freely breathing the Arutam, in the very instant he sings, in the eternal ocean of the Great Feeling.

Skies that mourn and wet the sweet earth, awaken a sudden snap, which was hidden in a corner between earth, stone and trees. A part of the feeling of Arutam, engraved on some green leaf, will remind men of some nuance of the richness of their true feeling. By remembering Life, people heal; By remembering where we were born from, we stop hurting the world. Slowly I reflect, about compassion as the natural consequence of force.

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The mother

I'd like to share with you an excerpt of a quary asked by a lady from St. Petersburg:

 

-I’d like to know if you could help me out. I have a sick little daughter. She was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. She had received the unofficial treatment and, although initially there was an improvement, cancer has returned with possible metastasis. Right now the doctors propose to perform a fairly aggressive procedure, but my daughter is in terrible shape, physically and mentally. I think she doesn’t feel like living anymore, and she's giving in. I really don’t think that I can help her to improve her situation, I don’t know what will happen to her after a new exposure to medication. Would it be possible to use a natural procedure with herbs, or even Shamanism and ayahuasca to treat her disease?

 

- My dear, you come a little late to request my help and my ancestror's knowledge. The symptoms that you've described to me, so in detail, indicate a severe deterioration of her vital energy. It is not the same to address this disease from the very beginning, when the patient is strong and full of sacred touch. Now she can barely breathe. I want to clarify that Shamanism is culture, religion and medicine, all at once, but within a particular context. The natives of the jungle never experienced such severe wear of their vital energy; On the other hand, cancer was, for them, as unknown a matter as other diseases. What shamanism can offer us, in these cases, hasn’t been well studied or proven, except for some experiences in which shamans have put themselves at risk by trying to help their fellows out of pure compassion. If the responsibility is assumed and in common agreement with all family members, a treatment could be attempted, under cautious medical supervision, but now it’s no time to do so, due to the patient’s state of deterioration and her previous exposure to aggressive treatments.

 

The person must recover the sacred touch if he or she still can, then they must initiate, little by little, the practice of shamanism. In this case, doctors must follow the path they have already started. With baited breath I say that I regret to  say that to you; I’m not leaving anyone in pain, but age is the experience that makes a man wiser in all branches of knowledge and action.

Thus, I understand that you want to leave, because this would be the main reason of your meeting here.

 

- No, why do you say that? I want to stay with you and be at the ceremony. My daughter needs me full of light to be by her side through whatever it’s supposed to happen. I need to be well for my other two children and my whole family. They need me and I want to feel the blessing of the Spirit so that I can be the heart and support of them all. I need peace today more than ever. And I will find it.

 

Fuck, I thought to myself: I've been a fussy baby lastly, mourning the last sad surrounding circumstances where I've been involved. We believe we're very important even at the moment of suffering, destroyingtoday us the "I" with a very good justification. From the blackness of pain only deep darkness can happen, and so it will continue like any other trend. I thanked her so much for the lesson and for her truthful strength. Today I want to share something that was meaningful to me, with all the feeling that we -my translator, the mother and I- experienced in that room.

 

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The use of stimulating herbs and the practice of shamanism

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There are stimulating herbs such as guayusa, tea, mate, etc. Consumption of these herbs is widespread in different cultures. In our days, due to globalization and free trade, we can get its benefits in different parts of the world, though the consequences of inappropriate use also occur.

 

Some of these products are really healthy, facilitating the kidney access routes, some even strenghtening them (ginseng); others are not so healthy, because they only produce a stimulation that consumes our store of long-term vital energy resources (coffee, stimulating and synthetic drugs, etc.). First we must understand that the energy that allows us to enjoy these products does not come from the product itself, but from the very opening of the kidneys, who thus release the reservoir of energy that is used in the present. The body is wise. It maintains a balance of that energy that our parents have bequeathed to us to enjoy a long and healthy life. Life is transmitted through our parents, but our organism is also a fusion of its conditions. The more consumption we make of that stored resource, which determines our longevity, the more we will shorten, in principle, the quality of our days, and, subsequently, our years on earth.

 

Increasing stress with stimulants becomes a long-term danger when the wear and tear of our body is considerable. It's like tightening an old rope until it breaks. The liver can always be more tense, but the kidney, at a certain point, can no longer withstand the natural balance of tensions and break up as the sky (heart) separates from the earth (kidney). The sacred touch, which flows from the kidney, has cushioned our body in a state of pleasure, gives us strength, recovery and well-being. It awakens us in the morning alive and makes us see, smell and hear even the distant sounds. It's easy to understand that if we consume his caress in the present, with selfishness, the flame will be extinguished with disastrous consequences in time. Sometimes we are too far away from him to realize what is happening, and we need stimulation to compensate, on a daily basis, our lack of vital energy.

 

Secondly, it is crucial to observe that an over-stimulation only takes us out of the delicious union with the sacred touch in our inner feeling, towards an excessive extroversion to the service of an "I"; of its vulgar purposes and possibly to the service of others, for whom we would only be instruments at the service, more or less useful.

 

Third, remember that live with greater tension than that in which we have been tuned by the Great Song of Life, will bring us a state of electrical disruption, nerves, tension, spasms, restlessness, anxiety, etc. In that way we will make our journey without being fully ourselves, with deep dissatisfaction and lack of peace.

 

These are precisely the most disastrous conditions to approach the practice of Shamanism. It hurts me to see people executing these erroneous practices in front of me before a ceremony. Consuming an entheogen in this state can be a considerable disaster, from which no one is responsible except the person himself, who of course will later cry and regret asking for help from the teacher because he does not understand what is happening to him. They are very intense effects that can not be attenuated due to the hours of stimulation, tension, spasms, anxiety, lack of relaxation and the impossibility of finding a minute of rest or peace. If this were used, during the trance, by the shadow of the individual, it would burn for hours in a hell thrown as the worst storm.

 

My advice:

- Moderate the taking of stimulants in everyday life. Try to feel honestly what you are doing. In my case, for example, I drink mate two or three days in a row, resting at least one; without much heat and following a low caloric diet, that ensures a correct feeling and care.

- Think about what we are doing with that energy that we awaken in us. Be aware of why we are consuming that sacred touch, of what we call it for.

- Keep these substances away from the ceremonies and the entheogen intakes. This should not apply to teachers or mature people, who are experienced and master their arts. They have their own refined and trusted criteria.

- Follow a careful sexual practice.

- Live your life with heart and deep sense.

- Be close to nature.

 

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