Shamanism and Ayahuasca ceremony difficulties. Discussions with Arutam Ruymán in Geneva, Switzerland.

First Discussion

Question: I had a very powerful dream yesterday, with a lot of visions. The whole night. And I was very negative. I have the feeling that I was in a rollercoaster. I think that place was not bearable, or I couldn’t take it... so I felt I was dying. Once, twice, three times. A thousand times. I think there was nothing left of me. And at the same time I was in peace.

Ruymán: that’s okey.

Q: at the same time I felt that sense that it was absolutely necessary, and I was grateful that I went through it. That’s crazy.

Ruymán: It was totally necessary. It was your first vision, right?

Q: When you were chanting, playing this chant, I had a very close connection, I felt that a lot of negative bad stuff came out.

Ruymán: It’s what you’re trying, when I’m singing in that way. I’m somehow squeezing all your organs, all the knots in your self. And when I’m somehow twisting everything, the shadow drops out. And you can feel how the dark shade is coming out, and you’re releasing it. But it happens in the beginning, because it’s your first time, it’s pretty painful. In fact, you feel that somehow you’re being hurted. You’re like dying. And sometimes it’s a sort of agony. Many people confuses, especially if they’re not mature, they confuses this with a bad experience. But, you know, it’s not about experience. And one of the proofs, a practical proof is that today, in your next ceremony, will be different. And you will notice it. And you will sense perfectly all the cleaning that you worked on yesterday, you will feel more light. It will help you to go deeper, with less shade and less resistance, and you will perceive much more clearer. When I saw you in the very beginning, you were coming not only with resistance, of a whole life, feed it, nourished. You were coming with a certain caring on certain pain. Mixed with some sadness, at the same time. And these things are deep, these things are absolutely moving. And my ceremonies are, in this sense, too strong. They’re only for serious seekers. Otherwise no one would be ready to go on, to resist such a transformation. Because if you notice, as well as you’re describing, the transformation wasn’t only in the mind and the heart of it. It’s pretty difficult. It’s even in the nervous system, in the body. So I don’t stop. I don’t give you much time to breath. So really I congratulate you because somehow today you’re today sitting up here, talking. And somehow you had that yesterday a lot. And now you come and share it out with all of us.

Q: I was pretty devastated this morning, because of the painful experience that I’ve had in my life, but there were some positive things as well that I later realized today and I felt a tremendous amount of gratitude and goodness as well. Part of the journey.

Ruymán: one of the most difficult things of this truthfull paths, well taught and well transmitted, is that you have to taste –somehow- the darkness, and the shade that we’re carrying on in our whole life. And that’s a pure madness. You see your own madness. And so sometimes it looks so real. But you have the opportunity to confront it, to face it before you. Otherwise, in a normal life, that’s so heavenly and to deeply stored, that there’s no way to touch it. Believe me: this is your first day, this is your first time, doing one of the most truthfull practices, that I think nowadays you can find, so you’ve done well. So, cheer up! Today I’m gonna check you, personally, I’m gonna follow up.

----Note---- Next ceremony day, Ruymán decided help him directly, he put a blessed enchantment on his Ayahuasca and later on blew him, he had the deepest and best experience of his spiritual life path. Specially due to his hard previous day work, where he released many dark tendencies.

Second discussion

Q. I think I came with a lot of expectations, and I had ideas of what should happen or what would happen through the night. And actually nothing happened really. I mean, nothing in a very practical or a very clear way. So I didn’t have any visons, I didn’t have any clear messages, i don't know, perhaps I didn’t drink enough.

Ruymán:Did you throw up?

Q. After the second time I was having a lot of movement, but I couldn’t throw up, I didn’t have any fluids, I guess. I was fighting, basically, but I couldn’t.

Ruymán. And what do you want to throw up.

Q. I think it’s my girl friend. She left me a while ago. I spoke and listened to her.

Ruymán: well, all the cases are different. So probably you didn’t have enogh energy to light up the visions. The Natem stayed more in this area, the roots of your being, trying to renovate your energy. So this is the reason why it wasn’t so strong. The medicine we took yesterday was full of the Yaji leafs. This is the visionary part of the mixture. You need a higher concentration in the vines, where is the anacond power that can arise. The anacond, create the vision, empowering your energy. I think today we’re going to try another. More rich in the vine. And I will drink it much time before, so I will know very well what you’re going to take. Anyway, don’t worry, because a lot of work has been done. You will begin from a new point, from a new spot.

Q. I noticed that during the night I came more and more into the body, became more relaxed and calm. But it was very subtle.

Ruymán. Yes. But a lot of work has been done and a lot of sacred touch has been restored. So, today you’re starting from a higher level, and it’s probable that if the medicine is more rich in the vine –probably yes- and caring your dosage personally, I think we will have success. But it’s important to improve your energy level, because otherwise…

Q. Shoul I increase the dosage?

Ruymán. You should increase the dosage, but I let you know. Don’t drink without me, okay? We’ll do it together. Also you're very affected by your ex girlfriend. And that is a problem as well. Probably your mind is pretty trapped in that cicle, and you’re depressed. Many things are working against you. But let’s see how it goes today.

Third discussion

Q. I always feel very weak with few wishes to start new things. This night I felt this very clear and today I'm pretty tired. During the night the effect was very light.

Ruymán. Yes, I can see clearly how the Arutam's caress is weak in you. I don’t have to see your pulse. I can see it in your attitude, in your way of speaking, in the colour of your skin. That’s a problem because you need life and energy to reach higer states of consciuness. How many spoons did you take? A lot I guess, a high amount of it. You took six spoons, right?

Q. Eight.

Ruymán. It’s madness. It could fetch down a horse (laughs). The Shamanism is working with the real Arutam’s caress. If we don’t have it, it doesn’t work. So easy. Because of this: we try to eat very well, very nutricious food, but very light, so we don’t waste energy. We take a lot of care regarding to sex, because, in men, ejaculation is the way to weaken the sacred touch and the roots of ourself. And we try to keep harmony, and the perfect balance, guiding our lives with Tobacco, and living in the proper place, in the proper peace, close to nature, and taking a lot of time to our self, to meditate and taking care of these depths, these reaches that we’re discovering in the ceremony. It is the way to keep the Arutam’s touch very intensely within you. If you take a couple of drops of Natem, that’s enough to light up all the energy that we have already kept, but if we don’t do this, and, you know, do the opposite, for example, if we take relaxing substances like farmaceutical drugs, or even natural drugs like opium or cannabis or this kind of things, we’re working weakening a lot the Sacred Touch. We have to recover ourselves a little bit more first by changing our life’s habits, and, of course, if is needed, by using the herbal medicine: roots, plants, leafs. That if you know very well how to make a diagnose on how to choose the herbs, it’s very possible to recover a lot in the sacred touch. Imagine: if we live our whole life rejecting on working on Arutam’s sacred touch, and then we drink Natem and all this is recovered and we enter in a sacred extasis with the Great Mystery, imagine: I would be very famous, and rich. That’s impossible. And few people want to really learn or practice Shamanism in the right way, because most of the people really don’t want to change in that weird state of pleasure, where they use to say. There’s people who have suffered enough in life, and really don’t have a chance. Many people. Much more than others. And for them, when they approach to Shamanism, they really want to change. They realy want to find a way to remember where they came from, where they are, and how to heal themselves. And it works if you have the will power, and you redirect yourself, focus, you can get whatever you want with Shamanism. In the tradition, Uwishin is the name of Shaman. The Uwishin is somehow providing the medicine, the Natem, to the students; also to help the people who are in a quest; more often to very ill people, to help in their healing, and the Shaman is increasing with them the presence of the Spirit very powerfully. And the people get in trance, and those who are in the quest, find the answers, find their paths, and have really deep and blessed insights. Those who need to be healed, feel how the energy is really increasing, and the body is starting to really remember how it should sense life like recently born. And the students are learning how the Shaman is doing this. So, in the tradition, in the house of the visions, we have all this things, all together. But nothing is possible if we don’t pay attention to the previous remarks. Everything is explained just by the sensation. And the wisest man is the one who has found the last -the clearest- union with his spirit, the last sensation, and is caring for it. This is the wisest man: the one who left behind the clouds of confusion of the extremes, of the rational mind memories, the self recognition, and can sing like the Tucan on a tree, or the acuatic Tiger in the river, the Anaconda soaked in the swamp. That’s why in our rituals we dedicate the whole night just only to adore Arutam, and go deeply in the crystal of existence, and cry singing his blessings, sparkling the light of deep visions.

Fourth discussion

Q. Might I ask you something? It’s my second time, and I still vomit too much, not being able to go deep enough within me.

Ruymán. I see that, during the ceremony, that you take the medicine and then you go inside your blanquets quickly, and you don’t want to know about anything. I think there’s a part of you that is somehow trying to come back to your same self constantly, isolating you from the world, and then closing yourself. When the process start going deeply, the cold arrives, the forgotten sacred touch caresses your heart depths,close to your conscious or present sensation, you reject it quickly. You throw it out. That’s my impression about you.

Q. Yes, I think something’s coming, but I stop it somehow.

Ruymán: so you want to change this?

Q. Yes, everything. Everything.

Ruymán. So I’ll help you to deal with this. So don’t drink without me. I will give you the Natem. I will make an enchantment for you. But, please: make the effort. Don’t throw up quickly. And this time try to be more with us, Ok? Look at me. Sometimes I will be laid down, and sometimes I will be sitting with all of you, crying the Arutam's joy. Sometimes I will be meditating. Try to be more active. Don’t enter in your little world and hide under the blankets.

Asking for advice in shamanism: Relevant questions on traditional ayahuasca ceremony to Arutam Ruymán

Question: In the first week that I was with you, I had very intense visions. They were good, but brief visions. Many things were revealed to me. However, in these last ceremonies, my visions are no longer so intense as they were before. My question is this: is it really important to have visions? Is it possible to achieve the healing effect required without having any vision? Maybe the Great Spirit is angry with me, and that’s why I have no more visions. In the first ceremony my visions were in color, while in the latter, the visions were black and white or gray.

You vomited last night?

Yes, I usually vomit.

After drinking, how long did it take to vomit?

It took me two hours, approximately.

Did you drink again yesterday? Remember how long it took you to vomit? About two hours?

Yes.

And did you drink again later?

Yes.

How long did it take you to vomit again?

Half an hour.

Ruymán: The Natem that you took yesterday was extremely powerful. No human being could remain immune to that dose. If you took 60 milliliters distributed in doses of soup spoons, there is no human being who does not experience visions. The first time, I took a whole glass, and had a few visions, at first, but then the effect dissipated. And I did not throw up. If I had vomited, I would have felt nothing. That means that you must be quite sensitive, because you had visions. Then I went back to drinking, and the effect lasted just a little, but I didn’t have many visions. It’s just a strange feeling of enchantment with nature and the jungle. And I didn’t throw up. Then I took a drink again -for the third time- and I had almost the whole glass. And that was too much for me. That is to say: at first I didn’t feel anything, and for that same reason I couldn’t work very well. The second time I was able to work a little better, but that sensation didn’t last long. And the third time I said, well: now I drink the whole glass. And that amount really knocked me out. And then I only could work with my body lying down. That situation, added to the fatigue of the trip and the lack of food, was too much for me. That effect stopped two or three hours later. It was a very intense effect. There I had many visions. It was incredible. Truly amazing. But, of course, that's good when you're not the Shaman, when you can stay in bed all night. Then, sadly, I could not sing for two long hours, due to the intensity of the effect, and I could only remain in a trance with my body lying down. I took some water and then I vomited. But since I’d spent so many hours with the Natem inside me, there were so much had been absorbed in my body, that even though I could vomit, that didn’t change the panorama too much. But well, at least I could play the "Tumank". From that moment on, I was present all night. But no, I did not dare to play the violin. I think if that night I’ve had played the violin, we would have had a real orchestra of vomiting (laughs).

I think you have no problem at all. You have to keep up. Keep taking the medicine and find your own rhythm. All I can say is that I have seen in you a very positive evolution. You must keep a strong energy, and that is achieved by taking care of ejaculation - in men – and also by taking care of the balance of work when resting. Directing our life towards those activities that make us happy, that make sense for our hearts, that we can put our hearts in them. And first of all it’s very important to have the perfect palate. As if we carried forward a diet within nature. That is to say: we must get used to the sweet mixed with the water, that is, the fruits. We must say no to fats mixed with sweet. And we must reduce the flour as much as possible; in any case, we should eat very little or nothing of cereals, especially seeds: quinoa, buckwheat. It’s better to choose the tubers, vegetables, and a little more fish than meat. And we must get used to the bitter tastes. For example, black beer (laughs). I mean: the bitter herbs, the infusions, the taste of the plants.

Cocoa is not so good, but if you try it from time to time there is no problem. In the jungle, for example, we eat fruits. And we spit out the seeds. We don’t grind the seeds, and we don’t eat them. They say, among the Shuar, that one of our customs in the jungle is to consider that cocoa is a seed, and that it has some principles related to it – like the bitter taste, for example -. They say that there is a protective function of the seed, so that it can stay alive through all its processes. It may have a slight effect, very similar to that of a poison inside the organism. Cocoa is also a stimulant, an antidepressant, and its seed is usually burnt and toasted. That also hurts the organism. And the body, in addition, usually reacts with some skin rashes, as if trying to expel it from within. I'm not sure how the mechanism works, but chocolate leaves my stomach dirty: that’s my feeling about it. In fact, I maintain a great purity in my diet, to keep my body in a good shape during the ceremony. That's why I realize, more than those who do not have that discipline. Check that for yourselves.

Question: and what about coffee?

Ruymán: The same thing happens with coffee. It’s another seed, and its stimulating effect also produces the effects of a poison in the organism. It’s a pure stimulation effect, such as that of guayusa or yerba mate. The same goes for tea. Yerba Mate does not have a behavior like that of a seed, and its stimulation, obviously, is not toxic in nature. But I confess that I haven’t consumed any coffee for so long, so I couldn’t tell you about this with precision. The coca leaf, on the other hand, has a very healthy effect. It is stimulating, but even in a purer way altogether. In truth, this type of plants and leaves, help us to increase the sacred touch in our being. That is far from being a stimulant that works as an effect of a state of intoxication. For instance, let's see a case: The relaxation. The Natem relaxes me. It is a plant that used to relax the Indians to help them meditate, so that they could find the Arutam. Yes, it relaxes me, but it also awakens all my instincts, it makes me stronger, it increases the Arutam, and the presence of the Great Spirit in me to infinity, until I merge with the mirror of life, with the crystal of life, with the Arutam. In that way, I feel I’m alive in all of my existence, in that ceremony, in the days to come, and, if I can, for the rest of my life. There are people who say "well, I smoke marijuana because it relaxes me too, and I go into a trance". A trance that is a high price to pay. Because in that case our vital energy is lost and we weaken ourselves and we lose our will. The world is becoming gray and a veil is covering us more deeply. For this reason we cannot work hard and firmly, because we’re weak and we begin to obsess with thought, in a neurotic way, and every day the mirror of life -in its crystal-, is further away from us, and much more obscure. And the fear of that fall and that darkness makes us smoke more and more. We are looking for an increasingly expensive pleasure, until we are in a true vicious circle. Because relaxation is not the same, it’s not the same to drink mate than to drink guayusa or coffee. The stimulation is not the same.

QUESTION: For many years I have been part of the ceremonies, and in every ceremony I have learned a lot. Now I realize that many things only manage to be understood thanks to the visions, but now I understand them without needing to have prior visions. But I'm happy to have visions anyway. I do not have calmer visions, but on the plane of sensations, I have visions that bring ways of learning.

Ruymán: she is a quiet person who looks for that: understanding. And that is how it is given to her; That is how ceremonies happen to her.

I agree with what you say, but I want to see visions. I'm ready to see visions.

Ruymán: but I have not seen you taking too much to see visions.

Well, I'm going to try, thanks (laughs).

Ruyman: Well, to go into a trance and to have visions you have to take a good amount and endure nausea for a while, and then the light will go on for just a second. You will have to ask for help, get someone to take you to the bathroom and help you walk.

Well, sometimes I feel I can not even walk. But in such circumstances I do not have visions either.

Ruymán: Today I'm going to make you an enchantment, I'm going to blow your medicine and so I can also establish the right dose for you. You need a push, because the sacred touch circulates weakly inside your being, it is not enough to overflow in the high flash of vision. Although your pulse is weak, it also seems to be disturbed by emotions. According to the dialogue we have had, I can understand that your vegan diet, raw and cold, plus the deep concern you experience, after years living with your family, which apparently have greatly weakened your spleen and, therefore, your vital energy Through the enchantment I will try to increase the sacred touch in you, so that it overflows in health and strength, and in this way it can overflow, through crying, the Arutam of your vision.

QUESTION: Lately, in my visions, I feel as if I have become different animals. I have the feeling of having an animal skin, and some instincts that belong to different animals. I feel that is important, but how can I integrate that into my life?

Ruymán: When you participate in a ceremony with the Natem, it teaches you the Arutam, and shows it to you in only one way, which is none other than the natural path. All of us emanate from a Great Perfection, and we are a ray of light that comes from that infinite, from the perfect state of life. So when you get close to it, inward, by using an entheogen, especially Natem, you can feel those skins that you felt. You can feel like the animals; they also carry the same light. A light that we also carry inside. So every time you see more and more animals, until you can feel that you are many of them at once, and at a certain moment you can feel the trees, the skies, the seas, the rivers, etc. All existence. This is the answer: you have to keep discovering and realizing that beyond your individuality and your ego, there is a whole world to which we belong and which we really are. And as time goes on, as life goes on, that resistance becomes crueler if we do not let it go. And also more dramatic: worse things happen to us. Situations that, as the time goes by, we experience as even worse. And we move away from the world, we move away from that great being that we are all. Do you really like to feel the skin of these animals within you?

I like feeling more in the skin of another animal than in my own skin (laughs).

Ruymán: Well, they are all animals. You too. Keep in mind that if we lose that self, that conglomerate that has formed our self, with all its dark spirits, we will feel that we are dying or going crazy. And it is not like that. Actually, what we discovered is probably much better. When you inhale tobacco, you will understand better. And you will relive all those realizations in your day to day life.

Question: Last month, when I inhaled tobacco, at home, I almost did not feel its effect, maybe because maybe I had too many thoughts.

Ruymán: well, you have to be prepared before inhaling tobacco. You have to arrive in the best possible way to that ceremony, and relax. If you do not get it, you should wait until the night comes: then you inhale it in a good dose and then you go to sleep. But hey, if that happens with Tobacco, it means that there is something that we should correct. We have to loosen the resistance. That's the good thing: if we did not have tobacco, maybe we would still not realize how we really are.

Question: When I use Tobacco I feel close to fainting, and with a little nausea. Is it the effect of Tobacco, or is there something I'm doing wrong?

Ruymán: Well, we must find out what is happening. We should see in what mood you arrive at that moment, how the day has been for you. It would have to be done at different times of the day, but if you already know that you will have that effect, whatever the schedule, then you should do it shortly before going to bed, so you faint in bed (laughs) and you dream deeply listening the whisper of the Spirit. I do not recommend that you do it in the morning, when you have just got up to work.

Question: I really want to thank you. Yesterday I did not drink. I'm going to take it today. But yesterday you said that I was tired, and yet I had a very good experience. that's why I want to thank you: because you could do the best for everyone. And you do it with a lot of affection, as if you always give the best of yourself. And now I'm really looking forward to the night. And I wanted to ask him for advice, just to clear up some doubts.

Question: When I take it for the first time in the day, I have visions and I work well with medicine. But that takes an hour, an hour and a half, at most two hours. Then that effect begins to dissipate, and as I no longer feel it, I begin to think that I can take it again. But when I take it again, I notice that medicine is not as intense anymore, and yet it seems deeper. It seems to have a deeper effect. But that second glass, during the morning, makes me suffer. And in the morning I have to vomit. I feel like I have to throw up. So my question is. Maybe I have to have a glass at midnight, is that okay? Or do I have to drink another glass and vomit in the morning? Because, during the morning, it is really difficult to bear that second dose.

Ruymán: now I propose to take a greater amount from the beginning.

Question: but from the start I took almost a full glass -the small one-. So I have to take a bigger glass?

Ruymán: you must explore, you must learn to explore. And find, little by little, the best quantity. The other solution is that when you drink again-the second time-you try a smaller amount.

Question: I usually drink a little from the second glass. But it does not matter if I take a little or a lot: during the morning I find it difficult, I have nausea, visions, and I have the feeling that the effect never stops. I think the light, the morning, makes me suffer.

Ruymán: then drink a lot in the second glass. Drink a lot, so you can throw up a little before dawn.

Question: and how can we keep ourselves in that good physical condition that you have? What exercises do you practice? Because it’s evident that you are in a very good shape.

Ruymán: well, I think it's a mix. I have a large farm, in Tenerife, with fruit trees. And I usually have to prune them myself, take care of the grass, make wood for the fireplace, etc. So I think that keeps me pretty strong. This weekend, for example, I was cutting trees with an ax, for five hours. That helps me stay well trained.

In my country house I have an apple tree, can you go to cut something? But no, no (laughs).

Every day I practice a very physical yoga, I maintain my concentration and my discipline during my old practices of the Chinese tradition. Finally, I usually swim in the sea, where the waves catch you and they wallow you a lot. Walking in the forest, while reaching optimal places for meditation is also an excellent activity. But the most important thing to be in shape is the diet: to maintain a good level of saturated fats; to obtain energy and satiety from high quality vegetable oils; legumes and fish; pretty raw fruit and vegetables; and to drink plenty of pure water, as well as to drink infusions of appropriate herbs.

QUESTION: It's my second ceremony, and I also want to ask you about the second shot. Today, for instance, during the ceremony, after drinking the first glass, I had a very strong experience and quite complicated, difficult, physically. I was crying. My vision was very intense, because I learned many things. But a few hours later I could not stand the medicine in my body anymore and I had to vomit. Then I regained my calm and tranquility. I had the feeling of being calm, of being relieved of something. I was in harmony. And just at that moment they offered me the second glass. And I felt like taking more, because I no longer had visions, but I was in such a peaceful state, that I did not have any energy either, and I did not have the strength to get up and drink another glass. My question is: was it necessary for me to go and have another glass and keep working? Or maybe that peace, that tranquility, was part of the work, of the ceremony?

Ruymán: it's fine. You drank and then you went through your own shadow. You understood a lot, and medicine reached the roots of that darkness. When you touched and detached the roots that were clinging to you and making you suffer, you were able to free yourself from the inside out, through the vomit. And then you felt the healing, you felt the peace, the calm, and you felt maybe like a child: in peace. Possibly you felt how you felt before having experienced that problem, before you had been under the weight of that shadow. And well: the healing took place. Possibly it's been a long time since you felt that way. I do not see then what could be the reason to take any more. You did your job Today is a new day and we start from another place. Cheer up!

Some relevant questions to Arutam Ruymán after ceremony. June 30th of 2018. Santa Cruz de Tenerife, Spain.

Some relevant questions to Arutam Ruymán after ceremony. June 30th of 2018, Santa Cruz de Tenerife, Spain.

A QUESTION ON INTERPRETATION: Last night I had many visions, and I think I understood the meaning of my dreams. But in the last one I didn’t understand very well. In my dream I was on a shore...

RUYMÁN: in a river or at sea?

QUESTION: On the seashore. There were two very beautiful men; They were calling me. Then I saw four men -also very beautiful- on a boat. They called me. I was walking, and they asked me to get on the ship. Everything was fine, until I began to wonder what that vision meant: at that precise moment, the vision vanished.

RUYMÁN: Well, so you started wrong. You tried to reason, you used the perspective (the space-time lock) of that monster who looks back and responds to your name. That's why you lost the vision. The magical chance, when Arutam whispers to you through the instincts, faded away. You have to learn to prevent that from happening again. This is how we block everything that our spirit uses to clarify, indicate and guide us throughout life. Even in our dreams. We coerce everything with the mind, with the resistance of our self, with control.

QUESTION: how can we prevent the mind from interrupting those visions? How can we keep the mind at bay, how can we stop using it and even stop thinking?

RUYMÁN: we cannot achieve that at the precise moment of having those visions. That work must already be done in daily life, on a daily basis, before arriving at the ceremony. But basically it's fine. You were devoted to the vision, you were part of the event and suddenly you returned to the habit of seeking an understanding - and controlling - from a sick point of view: that of the shadow of resistance, of that entity called the self. That is to say: you know how to do it. You were doing it, the problem is that you interrupted it. But naturally you know how to do it. And so it is: we are born from the Great Spirit. We are born from that intelligence which allows us, simply, to exist. We can do without a controlling mind, which is calculating and organizing everything. There is no need to ask questions or have answers that explain the vague perceptions of our gaze, alien to the world and to the union with our feelings. We were born of that intelligence. Both the body and its organs can flow in the perfect harmony of that intelligence. You were flowing. You were captivated with the sacred enchantment, and you were heading towards a vision, you were heading towards a feeling. You were letting freedom to be drawn, with the strokes of light from Tabaco, and some unique touches from Arutam. The thing is that you remembered your identity, you felt that you were forgetting about it, and this time it hit you hard, and that monster came back. Logically you lost the vision. But now I ask you: what did you like most? To flow in the miracle through which Arutam draws his art and speaks to us, or to be interrupted by your mind, that once again clouded your vision and lost everything? This is how you learn in shamanism! Through feeling. Through mistakes. Mistakes that you have to commit again and again until you say: Enough! I'm fed up! Please! I don’t want it anymore! How many times will the same thing happen to me? And then we ask ourselves: How many times in our lives do we make a mistake after another, and we get sick, and say "enough is enough, I cannot continue like this"? Many times, when we make a mistake, we must follow that trend until it becomes a total failure. That is when we realize that it was a mistake. The only thing your inner Spirit can do is to be like a mirror. And reflect what you’re doing with that inner self, with that monster. And yes: it’s the most painful way to learn. But we were the ones who chose that painful path: from the moment we separated from Arutam. And you must have a lot of courage to see it. You have to stand up and really feel in yourself what you’re doing, and make the decision to do it differently. To go towards the Spirit. Towards Arutam. So rejoice. Be glad about that experience, and about all the necessary ones, so that you feel disgusted and you feel sick about the whole issue. And say a good time: out! We have to do it in another way!

QUESTION: yesterday I had a major headache. And when I set course for the ceremony I thought maybe I didn’t have to take medicine. One or two minutes after taking it, I vomited. I took it, again, and the experience was very hard...

Ruymán: before continuing I want to say that headaches, most of the time, are caused by an excess of tension, which occurs because the resistance of the "self", symbolized by the liver, tenses too much. It causes a stiff neck, and then increases the pain in the sides of the head and in the vertex. With much thought, it would also affect the forehead. We cannot attribute this pain to Natem, but rather that you must slow down a little. For instance, if you are already in that state, avoid mate for a couple of days, until you calm down. And take not very stimulating infusions, but rather relaxing ones, until the pain stops. The best medicinal remedies would be: the white peony root, the cat's claw, the oyster shell and valerian. It's only after this that you can go back to Ayahuasca (you should be very careful with San Pedro). If you are in an excess, if you are facing an overflowed tension, that is to say that the resistance of the self is tightening too much, the monster is biting, the head is hurting, because all that fire is up - the fire tends to go up, like heat- and burn. You take the Natem and everything goes up and at some point it comes out through your mouth. Like a bomb that causes tensions to explode everywhere. But I ask you a question: When you threw up forcefully and then you calmed down: Did you notice any relief? Because that swelling -that excess of tension-, must have gone out to calm you down. And you could calm down to take it again. I would’ve done this and wait at least an hour, to calm down a bit more, and I would have used tobacco -which is very hypotensive, very calming- to balance myself a little more in the sacred touch, so I can take Natem just an hour later, not so immediately, just to relieve anxiety. Surely the Natem was still a bit strong when you took it, because you didn’t carry out this recommendation. And surely it was a bit violent for you. But, to be more precise, we have to emphasize that Natem is not violent at all. Natem is Natem: it’s neither violent nor relaxing. What Natem does is to show you that inner resistance, which was still a bit high. And you didn’t like to see what you were carrying with yourself, and feeding up, so often. You didn’t like Robert. What was that thing you saw, for which you were not ready?

QUESTION: I saw important moments of my life. And a lot of what I still cannot accept inside me. And also came the memories of people who had a difficult time during the ceremony.

Ruymán: Yesterday I talked a lot about pain. And how big is the pain that we can bear and carry with us. That pain is stopped, in a space-time block, in a person who believes it’s real, and stores it, and carries it with him. And sometimes that pain has been hard and true, but it has already been too painful at some time in the past: it cannot be our life sentence. We should let it go. And for it to come out of us, the "Robert" concept has to disappear. The person who carries that pain -who believes that it exists and who closes space and time and, in that tension, moves on, in a kind of direction-, has to dissolve. And that's what Natem tries to achieve, by making it explode. But sometimes we don’t want to, and the Natem leads us to that liberation, but we don’t want to. And it expands in us; it continues to lead us to that liberation with all its luminous or dark enchantments, because that darkness is our shadow, and we don’t want it to be true! There comes a time when we say: My God, this will drive me crazy! Then a dilemma arises: or I take this road, once and for all, or I’ll continue as I am until the day I die. But of course: it's like diving into the void. And you have to love it with all your might, cause otherwise, What point would there be to press with Natem? If there are specific moments of your life, whose resistance and pain makes it difficult for you to let go, you can tell me in private, and we can talk about it. But you have to let go. You have to release that resistance in space and time. There must be no way to return to a memory or pain. Even to remember some trauma should make us say: what a useless effort. I pass! You reach something like a tiredness born out of maturity. Like an old wise man. That is to be a healthy man. There is no right: you were born to life, from the Great Spirit, from Arutam, from that crystal of peace and perfection, from which emanates even the slightest whisper of the smallest cricket, How can you ignore all that to form a dark and resistant structure just to forget everything, and you live in perpetual suffering just to consume that vital force but getting less and less of it, till you finally let yourself die? ! You don’t deserve that, nor does the Great Being who gave you life. The one who is giving it to you now. And he keeps giving it to you. So think about it: if you want to tell me something, tell me and we'll talk so I can help you focus. On the other hand, if we see something very difficult to solve in this search, it is always possible to resort to the enchantments proper to medicine. So that the Spirit can speak to you, through the art of the Natem, to help you to understand and to give you the perspective throughout its enchantments - be they luminous or dark. And Robert: you are our friend, like the rest of our brothers here present. If at some point your head hurts, tell us, if it's not me, Sami or Nunkui will deflate the balloon with a couple of needles (laughs). We put one in the nose, another under the tongue and the third in ... hum. On second thought, maybe we do not need that (laughs). Any other question?

QUESTION: I had the vision of a ship, that the sea pull ashore. Then I felt that I could not sail anymore, and I started thinking about how to save myself. Suddenly the ship fell apart in a thousand pieces. And each part was subdivided into even smaller parts. And then I felt that from the remains of that ship, some leaves were beginning to grow. There were leaves of grass: life seemed to start again. And I felt that life had found another way to grow, another way to follow its course. And I felt that this was another way to save that ship from destruction.

Ruymán: in what you say there are several connotations that can help us explain this vision. Let's see a couple of them, although I think you got it pretty good. That vision made the right impact. In fact, the vision is impressive: very good. I am impressed by the relationship between the ship and reality, human reality, the affective level, the past, what we were - that human reality, in short -. The ship reaches the coast, brought from the sea, and that is like death and, at the same time, a break from all that human reality, from that human construction. I'm also impressed by how, from the past, we arrived at this present where that human reality completely undid it, in each of its cells and atoms, and from the old structure, it returned to the very nucleus of each cell, and from the most deep of itself, could find life again. And life could sprout again, from its old condition, which had already reached the shore. It could sprout again. It impresses me how that old ship, which reached the shore, could be undone by the Natem, just to find the source of life in that old wood, so that a jungle, a forest, would sprout from there. It is peculiar that in this way life has sprung from something inert. It is a truly wonderful vision. And I, meanwhile, was asking him, Did you really feel the medicine? (laughs) Very good! Thanks for sharing it to us. Any other question?

QUESTION: Well, the truth is that since this morning and throughout the day, after the experience, I felt very well; I was immersed in a very deep feeling of love, happiness and well-being. And let's say that the same feeling of well-being caused me to wonder: this I mentioned to Jordi and Sami today. They gave me their advice and I received it very willingly. And this is what made me ask myself: how far should I take medicine now? Because I really felt that medicine gave me what I needed. I felt quite full and very happy. And I felt that doing it again could trigger something bad or, I do not know. Maybe I did not need more. And I was presented with that doubt and, commenting with them, they told me that many times the injured ego plays tricks on you, makes small tricks to you and makes you find the excuse not to continue.

Ruymán: I can give you my opinion if you want. You had a very good experience. Rest is also an excellent option. That is to say, there is no hurry. You can come next time, and treasure, in the meantime, that feeling that you have found -and that you did not find long ago-, and limit yourself to taking care of it for a while. I really think that is the best option. It's worth it for my experience and for what I felt you can do right now. Because that feeling, as you told us, has not happened for you for a long time. Maybe since your childhood, who knows. Then, as I respect that feeling, I would leave it in that place, and I would take care of it for a couple of months. And then I would revisit the visions. I even see it as something sacred and respectful of you. And I like it: it implies your good heart and your sincerity, which always seemed real to me. Since I met you, in our first talk. You had just done things a little badly. But it's good: we're on an island, at first you do not know, who knows, you were just starting. Now you have been able to meet me, I know this quite well. But hey: it usually starts little by little until you get to another level. You were lucky that those mistakes did not make you pay. A lot of people do. The Spirit has no particular affections, but somehow it wants to teach you a lesson, so that you will not go down that path again. And this time it did not happen. Why? Because it was innocent. It was a sincere wish. And that's why you came here. And it reached deep into your heart: it gave you joy. I think it's very respectable that you also do not feel anxious (and do not let yourself be overcome by the greed of living psychoactive experiences or visions). It seems to me really something like a sample of your good feeling and your nobility towards the honorable Arutam. It seems to me the best thing, really, and for some reason you felt it too. So trust your feelings: you do not have to go around asking people. Trust, because the truth is that your feeling is noble. So, as your path goes, and how you take it, the decision seems right to me. If you stay today, the Natem would flow through you. Maybe here it's not going to find anything. Or maybe you will find the right space in your heart, in your feeling, so that the anaconda can keep raising its head towards the eyes, towards the crown. And in that case you will have a very visionary, a very strong experience. But it's going to hit here very hard, with considerable intensity. Yes, you're probably going to hallucinate, but I don’t want you to be clouded, I don’t want you to forget what you’ve achieved yesterday due to the impact of that force. I’d like you to take yesterday's experience as a treasure, to feed it for a while and take care of it in your heart; then you can go back, from that level, to take that jump again.

Talk with Arutam Ruymán in El Tanque, Santa Cruz de Tenerife, June 30th, 2018

A QUESTION ABOUT THE LESSONS LEARNED THROUGHOUT THE WAY: Does Natem take us into our darkness?

RUYMÁN: I wouldn’t say that Natem leads us into our darkness: I’d rather say that Natem immerses us into the Spirit’s depths, and as we reach the Spirit, we see those dark tendencies, the ones that we feed daily; we can feel their misery and their dark veil. We see them as they are, and how they grows within us. But if we didn’t do that, Natem's trance would be just the sheer radiance of the Spirit: pure light and beauty, just as Life itself.

QUESTION: Well, when Natem shows me those dark parts of myself, I start to feel nauseous. I feel like I need to flee from that darkness, I don’t want to go to that place.

RUYMÁN: H on the contrary: you have to look very curiously, with no fear. When the light comes on, when everything is clear and you can see all the misery that you feed regularly, all the misery that you let it grow inside yourself and let it rot, you really have to look at it with curiosity, and ask yourself: Let's see… What’s that? Why do I have that thing inside me? What part of my mind is so sick that it was able to feed that crap? So you start to investigate and understand, and of course you’ll feel nauseous. And what really happens is that you don’t want to see it. You don’t want that to be discovered. You don’t want it to be seen. The shadow that rots your flesh is so horrifying that you feel a total rejection for it. And many times that happens because you want to free yourself from it, but it can also happen just because you want to stop the intensity of that vision, so you don’t have to go deeper into that. But, nevertheless, you have to look! You have to look at that wision, and arrive to it, and try hard until you can really see it in front of you, and then find an explanation to it: "ah, that's why I do it ... this is what I do". And then you say to yourself: "God, why didn’t I notice it before?" And that's why so many people are afraid to look. Shamanism is not a pleasant way. It’s a true act of healing. It’s a true awakening of consciousness. When you turn on the light, in a room, you often say: "I'd better turn it off." You are before the truth: that’s why this is one of the most arduous jobs that a human being must face in his lifetime. You might get that awakening… or maybe not. Maybe you should assume that you're a coward and that you should run away.

When I was studying at the university, I knew that if I wrote down what was written in the books, I would probably pass the exam. If you study the book that’s been recommended by the teacher, you’ll read it completely and answer the test appropriately. You know that you’ll probably pass the examination. Even if many times you don’t even understand what you are reading. When I was young, as I was learning the path of shamanism, I asked myself: will I learn, one day, what my elders are teaching me? Will I reach that peace, that depth, that union with existence they have? Because I see it today and I’m not so sure about it. I want to achieve that knowledge, but I don’t know if I can! Anyway: I want to get it! But I can’t! Am I wasting my time? Will I die in the same state of mind they had? Fear, uncertainty and the question: what do I do? It’s the torture caused by the self. By encouraging myself to do it, and to look, I’ll probably feel nauseous: because I see those shadows, I see what I have inside me, I see those mistakes I’ve made. But I also feel the strength of wounded pride, and to be compelled to modify those mistakes makes me angry. Then I get defensive and react badly. It’s always the same vortex of self-destruction.

But do you know what? I’ve lived a normal life for many years. I've seen enough the way my elders, and the people around me, threw away their lives. I knew I didn’t want to end up like that. I knew that real happiness was not there. I also knew that if I closed my eyes, I couldn’t feel the peace that I saw in my teachers, because they were healthy and strong, and they knew what they taught. And they knew how to heal their disciples. And then I said to myself: I want this. So with a little bit of will, with a bit of faith - I don’t like that word very much, although sometimes it has a beautiful connotation -, I could see that everything that’d been transmitted from old to young, so many times, in Shuar Shamanism , was true. And that for some good reason this knowledge had survived hundreds or thousands of years. And I could check it personally. I could apply it to myself.

QUESTION ABOUT INTERPRETATION: There were clock hands in my visions, what meaning can that have? As I was navigating the cosmos, I saw a cosmic ship, a spaceship. I was approaching the entrance door of that ship, so I entered through the window –it was very clean-and there I started to see the clock hands, which looked large at first, and then they went smaller. They went from a greater to a lesser size.

RUYMÁN: Let's see. He was in the cosmos, with his solid identity, and he was entering a machine that was made to navigate the cosmos. Then he began to see the mechanics of that rigid machine. Through the crystal of Life he saw the clock that began to dissolve in smaller pieces, showing its mechanical nature, until he reached the engine, the very soul of that machine. As if he was going towards its essence. From something of a bit rigid start, from that ego that travels in a machine through the universe -without the total freedom of light, which shines with its brilliance towards the stars, among all that blackness of space that gives consciousness to the galaxies-, he began to dissolve that machine in its small parts. It was a decomposition process, typical of the Yaji leaves, within the strong intensity of the deep Natem. So, then it was a process of decomposition, until everything disappears, and you get to the parts of the machine.

A QUESTION ABOUT THE DEVELOPMENT OF VISIONS: I have attended several ceremonies, and I feel that in my first ceremony I started to see a story, and that story was developed, more and more in detail, in the subsequent ceremonies. For example, in the first ceremony there was a very beautiful puma. In later ceremonies I saw that puma again, with more and more detail. Is it a story which is evolving in parts?

RUYMÁN: no, no. The ceremony is a way to let go in an eternal marriage with Arutam. It's a way to stay melted with the whole existence, without making any effort, in the dark taste of enlightening enchantments of the Ayahuasca. It is a way of knowing when we are wrong in our lives, when we are hurting ourselves. Your mind is still mechanical, linear, ordinary. A mind that enslaves time in its resistance, to conceal, painfully, the reality of its eternity. Maybe you are understanding some things, little by little. Anyway, I see a positive evolution in you. And I think you're going to continue. Better and better all the time. You have to start to make an effort, to let go a little more, and forget about the references. Look from an identity, to find more spaces of ease and light in your life. I'm sure you're going to get it.

QUESTION: I have also had other experiences to which I have been completely delivered. What can that mean?

RUYMÁN: the time will come when experience is a total relationship with existence. As long as the ordinary mind is abandoned and you lose the desire - and the faith in that desire - to keep it alive. One also gets bored, and decides to stay in the light of Life, just to shine indefinitely, like animals in the jungle.

Well, let's rest for a little while. Let's check the tobacco leaves.

My Grandparent's diet. A clarification statement.

It’s very difficult to find fat and proteins of vegetable origin in the jungle. Everything is too wet in such a place. The terrain is often just water and almost no earth on top. These are the central ingredients for a diet designed to optimize high muscular performance for proper development and maintenance. In the jungle it’s absolutely necessary a perfect functioning of the physiological functions of any animal. We have to make sure we survive: build a house so we don’t get wet; have lots of dry firewood, hunt, fish and grow vegetables to feed the family; we must be strong and excellent to overcome any risk. We cannot lose our strength even for a moment, because we know that when death arrives, our fall will be both the first and the last.

My ancestors were partially nourished by what they cultivated: a variety of pumpkins, leaves of the forest, diverse roots, fruits they found, chontas, etc. They did not consume that much, because they were too abundant in carbohydrates: they only consumed the basics to have a good energy before the time for rest. Beyond this food function, no more importance or attention was given. The basis of their diet consisted of the fat and protein they could obtain only from fish (no seafood, slugs, octopus etc.) and birds: wild birds in general, which they hunted with blowgun; They also fed on turkey-like species and so on. Saturated fat kept them satisfied for a long time, protein nourished their muscles and built or repaired their tissues daily. Thus, they forged athletic bodies that were perfectly adapted to live under extremely harsh conditions.

For my part, I usually eat fresh fish, although I do not feed on birds. I have been sympathetic to veganism for a long time: it is a beautiful idea and very philosophical, but reality in the final sense of the individual, shows its failure. If we remove animal fat and protein from our diet, we will end up replacing it with manufactured foods and hydrates like crazy, that will not work for a person who needs to perform perfectly. "Normally" we find vegans that are weak, thin, consumed; or on the contrary, fat, flabby and with an unfortunate state of muscular toning. These men and women could not live in a natural environment that required the best of them to survive, so in that state they will remain in their cities, going from home to work and back. It is regrettable to witness, all across the world, how disastrous certain philosophical beliefs have been for lacking rigor in individual feeling. I really wrote this short Post because I want to be better every day and share what I have learned and personally verified, in the company of the people who follow me and who I love. I know that many will get upset, even the knives of their blind beliefs will want to make me bleed; think then how violent a vegan can be when he does not eat meat ...

My grandparents taught me that way and in that way Natem (Ayahuasca) was taken in peace.

Arutam and the force

Arutam is a perfect crystal that sustains the entire existence in a single Great Feeling. It's the perfect intellect behind the world we see, that eternally imbibes from its own grace. It's harmony, which keeps that sacred perfection intact, making it both immortal and eternally venerable; just a pass of time that dignifies it, and uncovers new miracles inexhaustibly.

That sacred crystal is a temperate peace within the most calm and rich insipidness. Each craving ridicules itself before the Infinite Feeling, which contains all feeling in its most minute twilights and at its most splendid apogee, in the spark of an instant.

The man who gives himself, during that trance, will rest in plenitude. And in the natural intellect that has always been, he understands the past and abandons it in compassion, by freely breathing the Arutam, in the very instant he sings, in the eternal ocean of the Great Feeling.

Skies that mourn and wet the sweet earth, awaken a sudden snap, which was hidden in a corner between earth, stone and trees. A part of the feeling of Arutam, engraved on some green leaf, will remind men of some nuance of the richness of their true feeling. By remembering Life, people heal; By remembering where we were born from, we stop hurting the world. Slowly I reflect, about compassion as the natural consequence of force.

The mother

I'd like to share with you an excerpt of a quary asked by a lady from St. Petersburg:

-I’d like to know if you could help me out. I have a sick little daughter. She was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. She had received the unofficial treatment and, although initially there was an improvement, cancer has returned with possible metastasis. Right now the doctors propose to perform a fairly aggressive procedure, but my daughter is in terrible shape, physically and mentally. I think she doesn’t feel like living anymore, and she's giving in. I really don’t think that I can help her to improve her situation, I don’t know what will happen to her after a new exposure to medication. Would it be possible to use a natural procedure with herbs, or even Shamanism and ayahuasca to treat her disease?

- My dear, you come a little late to request my help and my ancestror's knowledge. The symptoms that you've described to me, so in detail, indicate a severe deterioration of her vital energy. It is not the same to address this disease from the very beginning, when the patient is strong and full of sacred touch. Now she can barely breathe. I want to clarify that Shamanism is culture, religion and medicine, all at once, but within a particular context. The natives of the jungle never experienced such severe wear of their vital energy; On the other hand, cancer was, for them, as unknown a matter as other diseases. What shamanism can offer us, in these cases, hasn’t been well studied or proven, except for some experiences in which shamans have put themselves at risk by trying to help their fellows out of pure compassion. If the responsibility is assumed and in common agreement with all family members, a treatment could be attempted, under cautious medical supervision, but now it’s no time to do so, due to the patient’s state of deterioration and her previous exposure to aggressive treatments.

The person must recover the sacred touch if he or she still can, then they must initiate, little by little, the practice of shamanism. In this case, doctors must follow the path they have already started. With baited breath I say that I regret to  say that to you; I’m not leaving anyone in pain, but age is the experience that makes a man wiser in all branches of knowledge and action.

Thus, I understand that you want to leave, because this would be the main reason of your meeting here.

- No, why do you say that? I want to stay with you and be at the ceremony. My daughter needs me full of light to be by her side through whatever it’s supposed to happen. I need to be well for my other two children and my whole family. They need me and I want to feel the blessing of the Spirit so that I can be the heart and support of them all. I need peace today more than ever. And I will find it.

Fuck, I thought to myself: I've been a fussy baby lastly, mourning the last sad surrounding circumstances where I've been involved. We believe we're very important even at the moment of suffering, destroyingtoday us the "I" with a very good justification. From the blackness of pain only deep darkness can happen, and so it will continue like any other trend. I thanked her so much for the lesson and for her truthful strength. Today I want to share something that was meaningful to me, with all the feeling that we -my translator, the mother and I- experienced in that room.

The use of stimulating herbs and the practice of shamanism

There are stimulating herbs such as guayusa, tea, mate, etc. Consumption of these herbs is widespread in different cultures. In our days, due to globalization and free trade, we can get its benefits in different parts of the world, though the consequences of inappropriate use also occur.

Some of these products are really healthy, facilitating the kidney access routes, some even strenghtening them (ginseng); others are not so healthy, because they only produce a stimulation that consumes our store of long-term vital energy resources (coffee, stimulating and synthetic drugs, etc.). First we must understand that the energy that allows us to enjoy these products does not come from the product itself, but from the very opening of the kidneys, who thus release the reservoir of energy that is used in the present. The body is wise. It maintains a balance of that energy that our parents have bequeathed to us to enjoy a long and healthy life. Life is transmitted through our parents, but our organism is also a fusion of its conditions. The more consumption we make of that stored resource, which determines our longevity, the more we will shorten, in principle, the quality of our days, and, subsequently, our years on earth.

Increasing stress with stimulants becomes a long-term danger when the wear and tear of our body is considerable. It's like tightening an old rope until it breaks. The liver can always be more tense, but the kidney, at a certain point, can no longer withstand the natural balance of tensions and break up as the sky (heart) separates from the earth (kidney). The sacred touch, which flows from the kidney, has cushioned our body in a state of pleasure, gives us strength, recovery and well-being. It awakens us in the morning alive and makes us see, smell and hear even the distant sounds. It's easy to understand that if we consume his caress in the present, with selfishness, the flame will be extinguished with disastrous consequences in time. Sometimes we are too far away from him to realize what is happening, and we need stimulation to compensate, on a daily basis, our lack of vital energy.

Secondly, it is crucial to observe that an over-stimulation only takes us out of the delicious union with the sacred touch in our inner feeling, towards an excessive extroversion to the service of an "I"; of its vulgar purposes and possibly to the service of others, for whom we would only be instruments at the service, more or less useful.

Third, remember that live with greater tension than that in which we have been tuned by the Great Song of Life, will bring us a state of electrical disruption, nerves, tension, spasms, restlessness, anxiety, etc. In that way we will make our journey without being fully ourselves, with deep dissatisfaction and lack of peace.

These are precisely the most disastrous conditions to approach the practice of Shamanism. It hurts me to see people executing these erroneous practices in front of me before a ceremony. Consuming an entheogen in this state can be a considerable disaster, from which no one is responsible except the person himself, who of course will later cry and regret asking for help from the teacher because he does not understand what is happening to him. They are very intense effects that can not be attenuated due to the hours of stimulation, tension, spasms, anxiety, lack of relaxation and the impossibility of finding a minute of rest or peace. If this were used, during the trance, by the shadow of the individual, it would burn for hours in a hell thrown as the worst storm.

My advice:

- Moderate the taking of stimulants in everyday life. Try to feel honestly what you are doing. In my case, for example, I drink mate two or three days in a row, resting at least one; without much heat and following a low caloric diet, that ensures a correct feeling and care.

- Think about what we are doing with that energy that we awaken in us. Be aware of why we are consuming that sacred touch, of what we call it for.

- Keep these substances away from the ceremonies and the entheogen intakes. This should not apply to teachers or mature people, who are experienced and master their arts. They have their own refined and trusted criteria.

- Follow a careful sexual practice.

- Live your life with heart and deep sense.

- Be close to nature.

Farewell

Mountain, you love the roots of bare trees,

they heal me with the maturity of their branches in the wind,

as their saltpeter soaks my face.

I see the sky arrive,

in its dark wavy mirror,

to the same coast where I was born.

There I look today

and I say goodbye to the one I love,

I say goodbye to the one who loves us.

I remember your respectful words to the marine horizon,

today and tomorrow,

I will share them with Luna.

You are afternoon's strength

Coming back on the tide and soaking us.

Far above you still get my eyes wet,

and that's good.

Streams run in winter on my Island,

never more than today, they carry my heart,

Their crying is sweet and it's history.

The wealth of age next to Tobacco,

teach men not to suffer

and never spoil the Great Sense in this short life.

To the force that made us born,

we will return in peace.

Nothing will have changed.

And among heaven and earth,

a resistant composition won´t hurt anymore

bleeding under wet leaves.

Great Perfection, you live within us,

you draw the world to your wealth and likeness

as an emanation of the most beautiful crystal.

Temper our hearts

with the cool breeze from our grandparents' breath,

and the bright sun of the presence of those who are not here today.

As a man I take a seat

and meditate on the mountain side to see better,

next to the white eagle, I slowly raise my head to the blue.

Memories, truths and purposes for the beginning year 2018

Elder Jimbikit and Ruymán

At this beginning of year, till not so long pretty far away, I think about the fifteen that have passed living this path of Amazonian shamanism. I started around my twenties and, well, no beginning is usually excellent. But my sincerity, strength and curiosity as a spiritual man, psychologist, teacher and therapist through the use of traditional Chinese medicine, took me far in the search of the soul.

When I arrived to the Amazon, I boasted of my knowledge as a doctor, but soon the people of the area, with their simplicity, taught me how misplaced I was, and how ridiculous my own shadow made me look. So I surrendered to loneliness, me and Natem: twisting in his sacred enchantment. I knew that if I fell, it was me the one who would have to get up, and I thought: either I learn or give up. But, where to get back ?, what would I repeat?, in what bloody wheel did I want to continue accommodating the underfed, rotting flesh? And how would I convince that dark, educated and justified mind that there was a noble heart, the one that Arutam electrifies?

So I didn’t take a step back, and I could feel Arutam, and I balanced myself on Him. How enormous is my gratitude to my teacher and friend Jimbikit! How he shuddered me, so creepy, to the last corner of my being for so many years! During many transmissions of power (tsentsak), he managed to lift my sacred touch to infinity. I made an effort just to learn how to live without losing a tenth of that great gift. I balanced myself by being heaven, earth and everything else that exists, every time I ate, breathed, watched, loved, taught, trained, healed...

At one point, after many years, he told me: now I am no longer your teacher, I am your friend. I already knew that moment had arrived, their transmissions were no longer different from what I always felt. But one last surprise, and a sample of his mastery, was to receive his last and wisest words at exactly the right moment.

I owe him a lot of what I am today. His "tsentsak", his power, his spirit,  transformed and reformed me. Those who know me in ceremony, can attest to the kind of wild and strange animal I became in the eyes of worldliness. Today I teach that intensely realized freedom, in the mind and heart, manages to redraw the nervous system and the body. With a good teacher -and in time- we can awaken the animal that was born one day in this world.

I remember my old uncle Nuninkia with a lot of affection. He taught me a lot about discipline and traditional care. I saw his love and he gave me love. He took care and accompanied me as I shared his knowledge with me, and he trained me by sharing his life with me.

I met many more people. Most of those relatives were very close, others were not. We're living dark times here, they are post-war times. The resentment of the Indians towards the whites is huge, it is hatred. White people keep despising the natives and using them. They cheat and destroy their habitat to exploit natural resources and literally devastate. There is no consensus. The young Shuar become weak as they desire what their "enemies" have. It's easy to end up buying them.

This confusing form of colonization has brought chaos to an entire community. Spanish soldiers perpetrated massacres hitherto unknown; the priests exercised their peaceful conquest, but not exempt from cruelty; multinationals used methods to create needs and poison every aspect and every part of the life of other cultures.

As a result of all this, shamans crossed in my path, some very close, since I was real family, for many years, with the Shuar people and, somehow, it'll always be. All of them were children of that past described, but some were better influences. The teaching of others was perverse, expert in lies and manipulation. No one can transmit the union in Arutam and his sacred touch, if he himself does not participate in that concidion. Of good and evil, I learned from my elders, and I learned a lot. As for the majority, all of them corrupted by the desire for power, money, sex and influence, I had to get rid of their presence as soon as possible and politely. I understand that if you are violently separated from your family when you are a child; if they teach you another language so you never talk to your elders; if they give you food only when you obey, if they educate you under the influence of the Catholic religion as if it were the only truth, if they constantly destroy the jungle for the raising of cattle or what is convenient in the name of God and the State, if your teachers or your cures violate you when you are a child and your only destiny is to teach that same to others in the communities, and you hate whites, you will probably want to fight them until the end and, in the meantime, you will continue sharpening the ill tendencies that you learned.

These individuals, self-styled "shamans", are usually the best known outside the jungle, because they are already known in their villages and their mere existence is lamented. They are the ones who do the most to attract attention and reach power (sex, money and influence) that may be in the hands of others, especially in cities. They have been seduced and corrupted by the world of the white man in a very sick way.

It is unfortunate that all these news are spread so quickly, and that the world of shamanism is being overshadowed by the action of corrupt beings, whether they are native or not. Sooner or later everything comes to light, and these scandals are becoming common in the public media, which expose them more and more.

I have dedicated too many years to take care of the union in Arutam feeling the Natem. I assure you that this teaching is perfect and unique and that it should be protected as a millennial and carefully transmitted art. In this New Year, though a little older now, I would like to present you the second part of the movie "The Great Chant of Shamanism. The Way of Ayahuasca and Tobacco ". I want to make the best ceremonies of my life. I want to teach all of this to a world that forgets, between abandonment and confusion, the true meaning of shamanism that my grandparents lived and transmitted. I want all this to survive. I want to leave an important legacy with the best of my people's tradition: my Amazon family.

Arutam Ruymán 

The sacred feeling of Tobacco

Sacred feeling

you draw yourself in the Tobacco leaf.

You move the night to make her cry

as wet teardrops in my bowl of mud

Wet tears burning...

Just like the deepest and iciest night,

return in the tepid light and chant,

the deep blackness of your damp lament

turn on the Spirit of the man who breathes you.

What a fortune to hold the world in my hand.

Black night, you breathe and whistle twinkling

on the murmuring riverbank.

You drain in the black tears of anaconda,

which my grandparents learned to pick up

and take its content ... to the heart.

Thus, they were able to remember, they could understand…

Just by feeling you,

they were caressed by the breeze of instinct

and the night moaned as the panther's skin

woke up screaming,

letting out the bright tip

of its star silver claws.

Oh Arutam!

Your sacred presence dwells in all things,

You are the light, the water, the earth.

Your delightful feeling is the crystal of Perfection

infinitely imbued with his own grace.

That feeling contains everything,

while it beats in our heart

and it screams in its ancestral chant.

A call to life that cries in those who come

as soon as they open their eyes to the world.

You are the union of the three times

in an eternal, perfect and blessed present.

You always run,

but while I pray with my Tobacco,

I overflow the channels of your river

making the heavens cry.

Thus, the sorcerer cries over you to show

that Life is within us

waiting for its chance to sprout;

to delight us in its peace, in its perfect bliss;

to heal us.

Sacred feeling,

you draw yourself in the Tobacco leaf.

You move the night and you make her cry

as dark teardrops in my bowl of mud.

Moist tears burning...

Just like the deepest and iciest night,

return in the tepid light and your chant,

the deep blackness of your damp lament

turn on the Spirit of the man who breathes in you.

Affectionately

Arutam Ruymán

Serious reflection upon my worked year 2017 around the world. By Arutam Ruymán

Kambó's poison extraction

We were born in a postwar society that imprisons most of its members in a system of organization that takes them away from their father-and-mother world just to use them for a sickening cost-benefit analysis made to split them into the “lucky” and the “unfortunates”. This is no reason for us to voluntarily surrender to our deepest misery or to justify our own ignorance.

How deep is the disease that corrodes us to the core with its poisonous roots, while also corrupting, outwardly, the spiritual traditions that spring from human cultures. It is like the sharp claw of a spider, which bleeds us, devours us and conquers us, forcing our hearts to give in to pain. How life loses its kindest tenor, while our being collapses in the time that we have left to live.

Through the veil of confusion, the arachnid hurricane further clouds the shadow, and all that this new time offers to young men. The shamanic sacraments of the ancient peoples are immersed in that whirlwind and become poison and destruction for those who rub against them.

Tabaco, the Great Whisper of Arutam, from the heart of the jungle; which is corrupted and sick inside the cigarettes, and is misused by shady men in their dark lives.

Ayahuasca, a potion that is usually manipulated only to see colors and celebrate infamous French fries parties, all in the name of universal love, but without a single living master to take it away from the jungle. Businesses where you can pay by credit card; centers in South America - and the world - to catch tourists; marketing carried out by scoundrels who destroy the tradition with their lying words, taking advantage of the general ignorance, filling their pockets in their decadent and dark desires while the plants are extinguished.

Fungi are another onerous game and abuse. Their drawings in our minds last for a long time, accompanying daily to those who consume them. Its spiral visual effects become manifest under the effects of entheogens, leading to false realizations, disorientation and severe distortion with regard to the natural interpretation of reality; a deranged spiritual state, with a high degree of egocentrism, a loss of common sense, with delusional and toxic reasoning. All this happens under the ridiculous and unfounded belief that we do the right thing. The experience of giving aid to those who are victims of such ignorant and reckless consumption is truly exhausting. They fall into the trap of phrases they find on the Internet, such as the false assertion that fungi and cannabis are good in themselves: no substance is good if we cannot count on a good teacher.

A great teacher is unlikely to recommend the use of cannabis or fungi. It’s very questionable what scientists can say in this regard, because Shamanism is pure feeling. Shamanism is pure instinct. It talks about a man who lives in a state of equilibrium with existence, a man who’s fused in it, and whose Life flows in a state of maximum intensity. It’s a human being that can really heal other beings. Society is dying in a massive way, as it surrenders to the conquest of a pleasure that is never there, immersed in a reality that can never be changed. The more they surrender to cannabis or opiates, the less will be their determination and their tact of Life.

Their strength, their power, their Union with Arutam, all of this will go away hopelessly so as not to be even a mirage. They will crawl in the cities, they will lick their oil soul, they will delight in fleeting glimpses and fragrances, and the system itself will benefit from that loss of will. Well that's how it turns them into puppets of the self-proclaimed "new age".

Many people continue to seek new experiences, experiences of the self, where there seems to be an exasperating space-time resistance to Life. That's really pressing. Today, we use "natural" substances, which do not come from a tradition or an ancient heritage. Neither from teachers nor from cultures. They do not know their immediate effects, or what will happen to them during prolonged consumption, but they do not care about it. We also see a shameful business, on a world scale, consisting of the looting of a species of frog, the "Bufo Alvarius", something that is carried out by miserable and incompetent people.

Under the false promise of quick spiritual enlightenment, many people, with severe upheavals, subject the unwary apprentices to experiences that don’t respond to any traditional practice or offer any guidance; all of these experiences can have serious consequences, and no help is offered if necessary.

The purchaser of these substances marvels at the commercial suggestions offered by a pack, at a good price, in which everything is mixed: "Bufo" from Mexico mixed with Ayahuasca from the South American Amazon, DMT crystals, cannabis from India, fungi from the Andes: anything goes. Whether they are companies or religious sects, they promote substances with the usual tricky and deceitful phrases: "we are all one", "we have to unite traditions" or "open your mind".

In the cases mentioned above, all that is accessible and economical is used: ceremonial events of Ayahuasca are sold, where in fact no Ayahuasca is used, but a mixture of varied elements of vegetal origin through which it is intended to imitate its effect - at the expense of physical and mental health -. Everything is nothing more than a wheel that turns and turns uselessly: without tradition and without teachers.

Another recent hit in this type of scam is the use of a toad: "Kambó". The practice thrives in our days, illegally, because it produces an immediate economic benefit to those who are in charge of supply. But it is, in essence, a simple poison, whose effects are only the reaction to a very strong intoxication. The effect it produces is so violent, that I have often observed, during my ceremonies, that many people fall into a state of agony, for their body cannot free themselves from the damage inflicted nor from the strong reactions suffered during such experiences. Under these effects, the mind is lost and confused, and it wanders into a state of madness that nobody knows how to stop, or how badly it will afflict the organism.

I must insist and caution against these dangerous practices: too many people have played a game they should not play; for that reason they may no longer be able to find the Spirit for the rest of their lives. They are people who will not be able to carry out the spiritual path by the use of entheogens. Shamanism is the path that leads us to the oldest and most effective memory that exists. Only that path will tell us what we should do, or where we will go when we need healing, or when we will really need to meet the Spirit.

I don’t care what fragrance the spider blows to the wounded masses, all of them hurt by its sting and increasingly contaminated by its concealed pestilence. I don’t care how unhealthy would be the justification that seduced those who pushed the bloody wheel into spinning, whether it be for money, social power, manipulation, sex, fear, self-esteem, resentment or hatred. I don’t want to know if they are trapped in their cities, living a pitiful life, and all they want is to escape their “self” through a psychedelic trip to wherever, however and at any cost. They make a very dangerous mistake: to think that they can reach the essence of Shamanic traditions by simply buying these substances.

Time will show them what they’re really buying. Then they'll understand the responsibility they have for giving themselves to those tendencies. Nothing goes unpunished in this life: not even what we do for simple ignorance. Especially if we harm other beings, and we mislead them inside the deep ancient ocean we can only access through the traditions of our ancestors. Arutam dwells in all things. We are born of his feeling: we are made of his gaze and of his all-embracing understanding. He is peace, He is the rumor of rest, He is the wealth that constitutes both the length and breadth of life. If you have lost your memory, you must return to the good path.

Second part: Alberto José Varela's fraud (Inner Mastery, Ayahuasca International- Internacional) and many others like him, in the pain of these times.

Here I update the publication about Alberto José Varela (varicela or “chickenpox” for the acquaintances) in which half a year prior to the TV report I published in my previous post, announced the growing damage and destroying made by this fictional character. I have edited again and added more content. Also at the end of every language we can find a link to a letter written in Colombia in which the government, indigenous  authorities, his supposedly master and a hundred of professionals of different areas related in the whole world denounced his dangerous and degenerated business activities.

I'm not a person who cares much about anything, that's good. Maybe I care about the future of the truth, the eternal presence of Arutam, maybe that's why here goes this words. There won't be future nor maintained focus fused in Life if in our present the flux of truth is destroyed. Our grandparents took care of it for ages until today. Now ignorants destroys it “smoothly” with thousands of justifications. The attitude of the colonizing man which in his misery only thinks in some benefit for his ego, at the expense of whatever it takes, he mocks the world and groups to find justifying support dominating mases of men and other elements of life.

 Even though it may seems incredible, this damage extends to the shamanism and so the Amazonian indigenous tradition dying and dying everyday. I can talk about so much... Unfortunately this morning an advertisement arrived to my Facebook page from a severely deranged man called Alberto José Varela (hidden behind the companies of his own creation: inner mastery, ayahuasca internacional, escuela europea ayahuasquera, ayahuasca planet, ayahuasca travels), a poor wretch that never learned a single thing about this ancient art (although he mention inexistent authorizations from native characters such as Taita querubín, an individual which, as well to my judgment leaves a great deal to be desired and that soundly denies it in the next letter) and, in his justifying insanity, from the shadow of the sickened ego, after being released from a year in jail because of his shameful spectacle with Ayahuasca in Madrid, scared decide to go on enormously increasing his mistake not  giving up before the deep darkness of his sickness. Scared to death, he choses not to take any more Ayahuasca, but now he needs money and justifications to live his catastrophe... He decides no other than opening the european school of Ayahuasca, his great insane institution where he teachs others to be facilitators of this product and he fuse it with the psychotherapy because he doesn't know what else to do. ¿What can a decadent shadow like him teach to anybody, he who doesn’t have a single idea about shamanism? ¿What kinda mockery and lack of respect is this one? A man who laugh at the native traditions, who wasn’t even part nor live in them, the most he can do is playing the guitar like in catechesis with idiotic face singing goofy stuff. Maybe he can fill in playing a Tibetan bowl, make some noise with a couple of hollow sticks… well, it seems that he also like to make people trough up with a horrendous northamerican drum. Brainwash people telling them he does integration psychotherapy and suggest them to keep on coming to suicide themselves together in sacred ceremony. Only naming other victims as his pupils , he can name himself master, although nobody ever named him, nor he ever could has been, not even imagine it. In this sad insatiable feeling, the more people take part of it, the more his dark tendency grows becoming incurable and… while, the money flows. Welcome to the “ayahuasquera european school of Varicela and team company”.

  Well, I have seen bored and jobless psychologists trying to explain the misterious art of Shamanism; I've seen religious doing the same from their own religions, the same or worse than the above mentioned, I don't know. I've seen Indians playing to be seers and manipulating people, terrible. I've seen natives ridiculously saying they cure people, what a shame. Few masters remain, that's true, but everybody doing their own without learning is going to destroy the future of humanity, it's spirituality and the possibility for our children to experience and feel as our grandparents did in the jungle. This has happened already to us in Europe, we have nothing left. All the unconscious, incoherent and irresponsible childish spoiled brats who play killing the power and the future of shamanism making your ceremonies and group games with sacred plants from the people of America, I condemn you. Happening this by own initiative, by supposed authorizations and false formation imparted by supposed professors; by dark businesses of the involved individual and who is contacted; being religious sects names, fake spiritual ways, fake corrupted leaders, as for example the extended branch of the red path of the sacred fire of itzachilatlan or the cóndor and eagle confederation, etc. Can, as soon as possible in this exact present, mature the fruit of your tendencies and so collect the true outcome of the damage inflicted to yourselves and to others. Can we have a true and pure future for the new generations. The shadow of this childish brats, also corrupted shamans, false leaders and other damaged characters, is transmitted ruining the lifes of those who take part in their ceremonies. The fact is not perceived if you are a common insensible blind, there resides the trick, but the money flows… The only thing they almost always search for, aside from social power, religious, etc.

The perfect Arutam feeling is a crystal containing all the existence. The man can stay in that trance in an inextinguishable way and stay, watching how the world flows eternally and admiring the richness of that Great Feeling. The force of Arutam makes him live in the health which is the noble smile of his body, allowing him to scream in the passion of the Great Feeling incremented by the Ayahuasca in sacred ceremony. In that way he sings as anaconda, jaguar, bird, cricket… fused in the jungle and the world. That memory and caress is shared in ceremony, so the shaman heal his households with the sacred caress and teach the ancient memory to his apprentices; transmitting it in sacred initiation over the years through the Tsentsak and in one last powerfull coronation

  Please, don't click like or support the sickness of others my beloved family, we have a responsibility for keeping this present so there could be a future.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/7d7qzogcyn2uwx4/Letter_of_the_100.docx?dl=0

Sincerely

Ruymán

The Alberto José Varela's fraud (Inner Mastery, Ayahuasca Internacional International) and many others like him, in the pain of these times.

Shamanism is extinguishing definitively, almost all the elders are already an old times memory in my life. I was one of the few who learned the pure source, being family among them. The natives desired and desire a western life, victims of the necessity created by the white man to manipulate them. They destroy the jungle with no mercy, only after finishing themselves off in every level. A little money, a mobile, a couple of speakers and alcohol become the motivation to keep on going tomorrow. They’ll never have what we have in Europe, but the longing is enough to abandon the shamanism, let the elder die and not learning.

The trace of white man misery was devastating in America, the natives taught that God had a Son and, being Christian colony, they have the truth. In that way we lied, steal, raped, abused, killed… until leaving nobody. Poverty and misery of the soul scatters in every corner of Amazon, it doesn’t seems like its going to get better. There is already no Master nor alive tradition practically… It is the end of shamanism and its perfect transmission. In the West, far echoes are heard which doesn’t look even a bit like the true teachings of my family: neo-shamanic imitators, mixtures of science and western therapy with Spirit and sacred plants, religious sects even Christians which take the Ayahuasca as sacrament… Confusion lost in the rest of the world that which didn’t even arrive. Hereof we have individuals which cooks a plant and sell it to earn money. Who buys it doesn’t really have a clue of what he has got, if that would help him at all and which is the path to the perfect feeling. Without wisdom, training, power transmissions from the Major Masters; Who’s going to be able to feel the Perfect Arutam which the Shaman fused in the world transmits in his scream, chant, teaching, healing and passion of life?

Lost in a hallucination delirium which always ends fatally, they are too busy to reflect and have to keep on fast forward devastating everything, it doesn’t matter. The worst comes when more people get dragged as well; even worse wanting to make it public; even worse being an ugly and tetric clown as Varela; sad, very sad, letting get manipulated by the shade of such individuals who will kill the las deep feeling that you tried to protect all your life and you made a mistake playing your last card. When you realize about this mistake it possibly will be already too late.

Today the white man wish to return to the forest to find the answers forgotten by their cruel killer ancestors, but they’ll only get what they left: resentment, manipulation, ignorance, violence and deep misery. In the video I leave you below, we see the reality of this words, it is a good and true journalistic work, as sad as the miserable destroyed reality left after the Spanish conquers in America. Of the second part, then imagine what happen with the little white fellows who met with this native degenerate “masters” in the South of America and wanted to imitate them in every way. Alberto José Varela (hidden behind his companies: ayahuasca internacional, ayahuasca travels, escuela europea ayahuasquera, ayahuasquera european school, ayahuasca planet, inner mastery...) one of the major extremes of deterioration of human being, his tradition and his society which I’ve never seen or heard of. This sad shame for the Argentina people is going to be the trigger for the prohibition of Ayahuasca in Spain at least, but well, let’s leave this for the next post. Take a look of the documentary and please share this post so many can be prevented about this I have so many time insisted on.

http://www.mitele.es/programas-tv/21- dias/temporada-7/programa- 42/

Inquisitiveness of East family to Arutam Ruymán

Question: Those who live in Siberia, for instance -where not many plants can be cultivated-: How should they feed themselves?

They have to eat meat. Anyway, if I lived there, I would try to eat more fish. As we’ve already said: in the diet, it's important to minimize the damage that we can make to the body. If the dilemma is between eating fish or bird, it would be interesting to ask ourselves the following question: what is simpler for us? Is it better to kill a bird… or a fish? When we take Natem: Do we become a fish or a bird? Maybe we’ve not had visions yet, but fish is usually a lot further from our consciousness. I prefer not to kill fish: I got used to feeding myself with plants and seeds. I learned to keep the Arutam, with all its sacred touch, and I’ve also learned not to waste it.

It’s important to remember: eating no meat at all requires a lot of experience, strength and energy. Much of our sacred touch. Sometimes it’s better to continue eating meat. In my judgment a vegan cannot live as such if he doesn’t learn to be very careful with his sex life. Because he really needs that energy. We must use our energy to keep the sacred touch. We cannot be constantly losing it. That would require for us to be constantly killing animals to provide ourselves with its flesh.

The majority of those who currently consider themselves vegetarians are just following a fashion. Many of them may have, for that reason, health problems. Or maybe they are weaker than those who eat meat.

Question: Can practices and Taoist exercises be useful for managing sexual energy?

I wouldn’t say that. If we want to have a good management of our sexual energy, I would say that the key is always a full love. When there is love in us, we don’t need any doctrine -Taoist, etc.- to explain how to take care of ourselves. Love itself knows very well how to take care of us. Our feelings, in that case, go well beyond the physiological act we associate with ejaculation.

We should never judge. We should never prefer one thing to the other. We should never choose. In Shamanism, we have to pay attention to anything that could happen. Because in the experience of Shamanism, nothing is free; nothing that we see in the ceremonies can happen by mistake. Anyone who cannot find that way, should not practice Shamanism. Because there is a risk: to transform Shamanism into a training to be more resistant to those visions, to strengthen our own justifications, our self, our identity. All those dark spirits. Some people practice Shamanism and follow a spiritual path to justify themselves even more, to poison themselves more deeply. As my elders used to say, that is a form of witchcraft, a form of enchantment - a form of immersion in a dark enchantment - in which we could boycott our  own life and our own mind. And something even worse: we could to contaminate others. Because that strengthens our own ego: something dark and resistant that is nested in us. Something that carries the fake label of "spiritual." That is why it seems healthier for me to teach beginners: those who are not yet "spiritual."

Question: During my sessions, during the night, I had visions and denied them. Logic would not allow me to accept them.

Very bad. We must not judge, we must not choose, we must stand firm and learn from that which springs within us, from that which is enlightened, from that things we become aware of at the moment of vision, during the sacred ceremony.

One of our main problems, when we begin our spiritual journey, is that we don’t even know what we are looking for. We don’t know what is happening to us. We don’t know where to look for. Which are our tendencies? Which are our problems? The ceremony gives us a chance to look deeply within us, and therefore we are very fortunate. If there was something we didn’t want to see, something we resisted, something we wanted to cover up, to hide or to justify, it was surely something we really needed. It was something we had to work on. It’s always worthwhile to acknowledge these kind of visions. Everything we see and ignore, and then forget, is something that, over time, we forger. And our opportunity to understand it thoroughly is finally lost. That is why we must take advantage of that special moments in which a soft and gentle light is turned on: that moments are Arutam’s gifts.

Question: On the second night, after taking medicine, I had the feeling that there was a lot of fluid in my stomach. I drank too much, then vomited and I couldn’t’ keep medicine in my body.

If we’re too sensitive before the ceremony, we may have more liquid segregation than necessary. The body reacts as if it we had an excess of it. Do not worry, it's OK: after vomiting, wait half an hour. Then take a small drink, which your body will easily assimilate. It will allow you to reach a deeper trance.

It’s preferable - although it’s not the most advisable - it is better to expel all excess fluid from our body from the beginning. In this way, medicine, once ingested, is no longer lost, and thus its properties can be fully incorporated.

In one of my personal experiences, during a last day of ceremony, I expelled my first glass of medicine. This occurred a long time after drinking it, because it had exceeded the proper dose. I waited half an hour. When I noticed that I lacked vibration in my singing, during the ceremony, I drank another dose. Since I no longer had any liquid in my body and there was no more weight in my stomach, I was able to retain my drink. Two or three hours later I realized that the previous times, I had expelled the Natem because its effect was too strong. This time I could not expel it, and I could no longer continue to lead my group. I remained at rest, in a state of complete immobility. Everyone began to wonder: Where is the teacher? I had to find a way to react, so I could finish the ceremony and support my group. So I went out for some air, and then I had to take more than a quart of water to add some substance to my stomach. I just vomited about 20 minutes later.

Question: What do we do when we have drunk more than we want, and we begin to feel, alternately, cold, heat, nerves and fear?

The most important thing, in these cases, is to seek solitude, to be close to nature, close to the Great Spirit. Anyone who has drunk too much Ayahuasca, can usually expel it from the body without major inconveniences. But if we can’t do it,  it’s because there is some inner resistance in ourselves. Some very strong inner darkness, which we must face immediately. In these cases I recommend a purge with water and tobacco. Once this operation is completed, or in case of need - if a really serious situation occurs - the Shaman can blow, suck or fan. This usually only happens in extreme cases, as we must usually overcome that state by ourselves.

There’s a particular case. It happens when someone willingly surrenders to a capricious game, while playing with their own shadow. In that case, the Shaman should not come to his or her aid: the Shaman simply lets him play, just to see if he learns, if he likes it, and for how long he wants to continue playing with it. Whoever can have visions, whoever can decide wisely and learn from himself -without anybody's help-, is well on its way through Life.

Question: is it advisable, in these cases, to remain alone, in nature?

The first thing is to stay alone. Then you lament before the Great Spirit. And you wait for your body to react alone and purge itself. Let it recover itself, with its own strength and its own repentance. Whoever gets that, will have my respect, and will always get my support. If you need a little help, because you are in a state of greater weakness or incapacity, you must intensify the sacred touch with Tobacco, in the crystal of Life, in the water, in the skies. After vomiting like this, affected people should be fine after fifteen or twenty minutes. If they still need help, the shaman blows them, fans them or sucks them, depending on each case’s requirement, or the healing requirement of each patient. If some people want to continue playing capriciously with their shadows, in a state of solitude, we must leave them, so that they learn through time, through pain, although they must be supervised from afar, to prevent them doing some nonsense. If, after such experiences, they don’t want to learn, maybe they won’t come back. But they’ll know what they are staying with. They’ll know what they’re living with. At least, even if they don’t return, they will know.

Question: What dies inside a person who feels he is dying? What dies inside?

Each case is different. We can cite several experiences of death during those visions. There is a vision of death that manifests itself through weariness and weakness. That happens when we’re so tired and we’ve suffered so much, and this experience is so strong that we want to die. We want to give up. We want to reach a state of peace that we can no longer find in our own lives.

There is another issue: it’s about the shadow and its blackmail. When we’ve managed to corner that shadow, but it’s very well anchored in our interior, with its spider legs, through the manipulation of identity, of the self, it will make us believe that it is Life, that it is Arutam. I'm dying! Death! He who feels it within himself often believes: “I’m the one who dies; it’s my Spirit that is dying”. That is a blackmail. That is manipulation: every day we do that to ourselves.

There are several examples of death, during the visions. Sometimes we feel that a part of us is dying. But a part of us begins to say "enough: I’ve felt this sensation so much, I’ve lived the ceremonies so much, that I am sure that it’s not true". And we let it die, with all the fear of falling, in that state of deep relaxation. And once we are in that deep blackness, we fall into the coldest and deepest depths, to return to the brightness of light. Because, ultimately, everything in this world is a Great Perfection. Everything, absolutely everything, finally comes back, and it turns to us and is transformed. And even the deepest fear, once frozen, then gives way to light. How could we avoid, during that process, that we die? How not to feel that sensation, those of us who have had the will to discover such intensity?

That’s why we have to do it: we have to die. That’s  the way to experiment the wealth of being part of everything. I’ve given you just three examples of death.

Question: I was able to "see" that the intense pain I felt during the ceremonies -I didn’t know where it came from- was the mourning for all those beings who hadn’t been born, after numerous abortions in my family. How to deal with this situation? I feel I need to share this experience: is it advisable to do so?

The important thing, in these cases, is to take advantage of the pain, or more precisely the experience of that concrete pain, to guide one's life. In principle, not to make those mistakes, and to be able to advise with wisdom to all those who go through these kinds of situations. Those who have "seen" are the most appropriate to share those experiences.

Question: Before attending the ceremony I was afraid to take Natem. Now I’am afraid of facing everyday life. I'm afraid to get hurt.

You have done a good job. It’s a perfect blend of strength, character, concentration and heart. Sensitivity. You have full receptivity to medicine. The truth is that, by taking such a pure Natem, you have grown rather than cringe. You've grown to the point of saying: I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to  make the same mistakes. I don’t want to get caught up in confusion throughout my entire life, like most people do.

The wealth that lives within you, the feeling of perfect bliss in which we were born: it remains forever and cannot be changed by the evil that the dark spirits could have made us. But now you have a very specific reference point. A state you hadn’t perceived so intimately before. You’ve come closer to Arutam. Based on feeling, as every human being should feel, you can take better decisions. Anything that could help you to free yourself, in the depths that you’ve achieved tonight, is beneficial. Otherwise, it would be reoriented or replaced.

Before this experience we had no idea about the depth of our soul. Out of stupidity, or not to oppose other patients, we did what we wanted, forgetting the high cost that we should pay for it. Now we know: it would be a sin to go back. Therefore, we can say that now we’re starting to live for real. We have a record of every feeling we’ve reached during the ceremony. We remember feelings, a path with feelings, a path with heart. Our heart’s presence is like a great lake held on stones. It’s a piece of heaven on earth, felt in full loneliness. Where life is born, where fish are born and animals come to drink. Vital instincts arise in our heartbeat, during the course of our journey. That feeling, well fed with Tobacco, will strengthen and clarify the light of feeling. In that way, we can no longer betray ourselves. If we make mistakes, we will feel them as well. And so, through an exercise of balance, we’ll find the light. Peace.

Question: can we predict the future under the influence of Ayahuasca?

This outcome is produced chiefly through the use of Tobacco and Floripondio. Drink Tobacco in the Waterfall. You can also use the ritual of Floripondio. We have to understand that we’re a perfect pressure of Arutam's feeling, who pulsates like the stars, within our hearts, inside our arteries. We’re a great trend. A great song.

There are trends that show us, an approximate trajectory. For instance: when we throw a ball, or an arrow, we have a sense of the time and the place of the fall. We’ll see the future through those arrows that have already been thrown. But if these have not yet been launched, we cannot see the future in any way. We may have a strong desire to see it, but that form will never appear before our eyes. Only the arrows that are already in motion will be presented, in our vision, and through their whistle, we’ll be able to understand (to see) the distant consequences that those arrows, somehow, refer us.

Natem is less powerful in that sense, because it produces a much smaller anesthetic and relaxation effect. If we pay attention to its effects, Natem is more instinctive, more agile, faster and more animal. It’s more connected to the present, more directed to the goal of producing the union with Arutam. But Natem also allows us to see those arrows. However, both Tobacco and Floripondio - because of their relaxing and numbing effects - offer us a more convenient distance and a more adequate slowness to observe the path taken by these trends.

With the use of Natem we arrive to a state of understanding, of a realization. It’s something that we feel, both in the body and mind. It’s something that perhaps can torture us a little, and force us to think about the reality of that foreseen future, so that we can make something about it. With Tobacco, however, we are in a state of such numbness that the messages arrive to us in a completely crystalline way, as if they were an enchanted world, as if they were an advice of Arutam. The visions that can be observed appear before our eyes with enough fidelity if we compare them to the later events. But Floripondio presents us some whistles or tendencies that are almost exactly the same as later events: the same people, the same situation.

The use of the Floripondio for this purpose can be a truly traumatizing experience. It is not recommended, in general, except for those who have an intense training in its use. People are not prepared, in general, to see the consequences of their tendencies. At least not in such an immediate way.

Following these practices, people can learn very quickly to see through their dreams, as well as to hear the whistle of the tendencies in their daily life, by being surrendered to their own instincts. Wisdom is a perfect balance between experience and instinct. It's a long affair.

This is the approximate path of divination in shamanism through its traditional resources.